Rose

Medium: no.2 Pencil on paper.

Of Lavender Athelasri the Healer

Of all the forms she as ever worn, the Soldier was most familiar to Lavender Athelasri. But what did soldiery matter here? Her current form was of a Healer, and so to Healing did her skill turn. It didn't prevent her from learning other forms of Magic, though she stayed away from overt attack spells on principle. So long as the attack spells she knew did no obvious damage, others would turn a blind eye. After all, just because civilized people avoided attacking Healers, it didn't mean the Barbarians would do the same.

"Evoking Snow in the height of summer, Healer Athelasri?" Knight Tazo asked, his green eyes sparkling with amusement, "And in the lower branches of Ydrassil also."

"Shut up," she snapped irritably, "Axons cannot abide cold and it's practically an oven on this level."

"But snow, Healer?"

"What were you expecting? A Monster Summons?" Lavender demanded, "I am a Healer, not a Mage!"

"You've certainly studied enough Magic to change your status," the Knight teased, "And look, is that a stiletto sewn into the undersides of your skirts? You could certainly pass for a Mage if you chose."

"I am a Healer, Knight Eriaden Tazo, and you had best stop distracting me and kill those damned Axons or Rogue Clementium of Lazarus will bleed out if the Axons don't kill us first!"

"All right, all right," the Knight chuckled, drawing his broadsword from its sheath on his back. "Salve my wounds with a kiss when I return, Healer?"

"You'll get a kiss from my dagger, alright," Lavender groused, "And avoid another head wound! You've had three this past week already!"

She ignored the screaming of the Axons as the Knight's blade cleaved through their ranks. Lavender was far too busy working to heal the Rogue's injuries to worry about nostalgia. She had been a Knight before she had become a Healer, and she missed the heady atmosphere of all out battle. But since she had died three Stellar Cycles ago and Respawned as a Healer, she had a new battlefield to think about.

And frankly, wresting Heros, Knights, Rogues, and Mages from grasp of the Dead Reapers was much more satisfying than the old swing and bash routine. She also saw much more in the way of chiseled physiques as a Healer than a Warrior Maiden anyway.

~*~

End

Good Morning

Good morning to my friends and online followers. Last night I took two paracetamol and went to bed with a migraine. After a good night's sleep, my migraine is gone. There is a slight warning twinge in the right temple that says that there is still the possibility of it coming back, but the lack of sound and light sensitivity as well as previous experience tells me that as long as the warnging twinge doesn't migrate to my left temple, there is a 40% chance of a second migraine on the heels of the last. If I snack properly and hydrate regularly over the course of the day, I have a 73% chance of preventing the migraine altogether. And Yes, I do keep track of my migraines. You never know when such a record might be important. Now, I did promise to write a note about yesterday, yes? Ok. We'll have to backtrack a bit, so bear with me.

Here is a Record Concerning the Events Leading Up to the Events of Friday, June 22, 2012...

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

For almost two weeks beforehand, we had been trying to plan a get together. Certainly it wouldn't be another drinking party, but more of a way to catch up and spend time together. Sanna, Sanchi, Pansy, Kendrick and I hardly see each other now that we've been out of High School for six and four years respectively. Well, Kendrick and I see each other regularly, but the rest of us, less so. The original plan had been to go to Convent Gardens-No, wait, that's in London! Never mind, wrong conversation.

As I said, the original plan had been to go to Victoria Gardens or Ontario Mills, both major shopping centers in Rancho, but as it turns out, over time and repeated conversations, we altered our plans to make a two day trip. Friday would be spent in the Huntington Library, or to be precise, the Huntington Library's Gardens. And what a lovely series of Gardens they are also. What we would do after we got bored with the Huntington Library, we never got around to discussing, but certainly we would be having lunch in the Pasadena area, since obviously, that is the area that the Library is in. Maybe we would have ended up wandering around Old Town Pasadena like we usually do whenever we find ourselves in the area. Maybe we would have gone to Santa Anita and seen a movie and gone window shopping.

But that's all speculation. Mostly because we didn't do any of that, and so we'll never know if my admittedly limited imagination of how the day would have ended would have turned out that way in reality. But I'll move on to the tentative plans we made for the possibility of a two day outing before I go any further.

The tentative plans for Saturday, for today, would have involved a trip to the beach. More precisely, the Santa Monica Pier. If Kendrick is to be believed we'd likely have ended up on the Third Street Promenade. After that, who knows? I don't think we ever really planned things out properly. But then again, it's called tentative plans for a reason. If prior experience is to be believed, we would have come up with something once we felt the Beach had gotten boring. But once again, speculation.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

I recieved a call from Sanchi, who informed me that Sanna was ill. She asked if I would mind terribly if there was a change of plans and if we would like to go over to their house instead. We would play board games, watch a movie, and maybe spend a little bit of time outside. I agreed. Then called Kendrick, who should have contacted me immediately after his conversation with the twins. Kendrick threw out the possibility of bringing Joyce along, an idea I vetoed on grounds that it was too much of a last minute thing, and surely Joyce must have other plans if not work. We discussed logistics in the terms of who is picking up who, and although it was obvious, it was still a good idea to confirm. 

Kendrick mentioned that he'd asked Pansy when the Twins' Birthday was, and seemed depressed to find that their Birthdays had been two days previous. Not something to worry about as we would have seen them the next day and any gifts could have been presented then. Any plans I might have had to send my own gift by mail had been derailed on grounds that the paint on the gift was still wet.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Woke up, checked the status of the gift painting, was horrified to learn the paint was still wet. Situation Very Not Good. Never mind that thoguht. I proceeded to select bits out of my DVD collection that I thought the Twins and Pansy might enjoy. Considering the nature of Kendrick's plan for his contribution to the movie pool, I selected mostly historical fictions, a musical, a chick flick, the Sally lockhart Mysteries, and a biography of the life and reign of Queen Elizabeth I. That done, I went to perform my morning ablutions, once that was done, I changed my tatty leather tote which I carried to and from school for a smaller, more compact, newer, LV bag more suitable for a day indoors with friends.

Kendrick arrived to pick me up, and one glance confirmed that his brother Josh was present, and we went to Pansy's house to pick her up, then proceeded to the Twins' Residence. Kendrick proceeded to get us lost. We finally arrived at Sanna and Sanchi's Home near mid-morning, where they were most diligently preparing for lunch. Their Brother, Sanfe, was present with his friends, and they were busy playing board games. Kendrick and his brother played video games in the living room while Pansy and I alternated between hovering, distracting, and helping Sanna and Sanchi make Shepherd's Pie.

After Lunch, we split up, the Girls-and I use the term lightly since Josh and Kendrick were with us-into the living room, Sanfe and his pals stayed in the dining area to play more board games. In the living room, we dithered between watching a movie and playing a game, and we decided on playing a game.

Well, more like Sanna decided on playing a game. Sanchi was cleaning up, Josh was at loose ends, Pansy was on her phone, and I was reading a chapter on my Kindle, and Kendrick was bouncing between the living room and the dining room. While Josh, Pansy, Sanna, Sanchi and I sat down to play a board game, Kendrick proceeded to sleep. When things started getting good, Kendrick vanished into the dining room to commandeer a laptop.

Around three, we all unanimously agreed to pack up the board game, and watch a movie. We watched a movie about the early years of Queen Elizabeth's reign, and only then did Kendrick choose to come out and socialize. Sanfe and his group vanished upstairs and reappeared periodically to watch from the landing whenever things got good. Or if there were sex scenes. The movie ended at six, and I loaned the two disks of Elizabeth and the Sally Lockhart to the twins and we all parted ways.

During the drive home, I realized that my light sensitivity had got worse, and I put on my sunglasses. But because the visor in Kendrick's passenger seat had boken off, I still ended up with a good deal of sun irritating my eyes, made worse by the fact that we were driving West, and the setting sun was in our faces. This caused the warning signs that had been present since I'd woken up in the morning to explode into a full blown migraine by the time I got home.

Once I got home, however, I still had to go over to Grandmother's house for dinner, and my grandparents insist on closing all the windows and doors and not turning on the AC, which meant the house was cooking. It was worse in the kitchen, which was like a bloody oven. This heat led to my migraine going from a 4, annoying but bearable, to a 6, dizzy, pounding, light sensitive, sound sensitive, bearable as long as I don't move and the light is dim and no one decides to talk in their outdoor voice. I was only grateful that it wasn't a 7 where I'd start to loose my appetite, or an 8, in which I'd be nauseous, or a 9, where I'm rendered completely useless. I've never experienced a 10, and I'm grateful, because it would probably mean I would die from the pain alone.

Ultimately, after braving my headache for as long as was polite, I turned in for a-relatively on my part-early night. Which leads up to my surprisingly long note today.

Needlework, Once More!

Done with black linen floss. Yay for my new PJs.

Sherlock Mini-fic: Burning Brightly

"I. Said. Drop it!"

John Watson will never forget the sharp edges in those words as they were thrown, lightening quick, at Sherlock Holmes. Never forget how each word was punctuated by a whistle of the ridding crop slashing through the air and the sharp, succulent sound of fiberglass and leather meeting flesh.

Let no one notice the lust that burned swift and sharp through him as he stood outside the door, out of sight, out of mind, hearing every sound as Irene Adler fought Sherlock Holmes for her property, and picturing in his mind's eye what his flatmate must look like. Were red welts appearing, bright and beautiful on alabaster skin? Were the pupils of those pale, icy eyes blown wide with pain and hunger?

Inside the room, Sherlock groaned, and John swallowed back his answering moan. God, what he wouldn't give to be there, to be the one drawing those sounds from his friend.

"Thank you."

He could hear shuffling as Irene scooped up the dropped phone and moved away. John clamped down iron control learned in the military and checked himself quickly. Good, no sign of his previous hunger. He strode into the room, his eyes only briefly taking in the form of his friend, sprawled out over the floor, before moving toward The Woman, seated on the windowsill in the washroom.

She smiled at him, dark and knowing.

——

End

It just had to be today.....

The one day I decide to do book work instead of doing all of my research online is the one day the library has none of the materials I need!!!!

Eclipse

Ok, remember the eclipse on Sunday? Here's my picture of the event. And Yes. I only took the one.

Asexuality@UChicago: (A)sexuality and Kink

I really have to share this particular Link. It's important!!!!

Asexuality@UChicago: (A)sexuality and Kink: I identify as asexual—that is, I do not experience sexual attraction (though I do experience other forms of attraction, such as romantic att...

Humanity. You. Repel. Me.

Watching Shows on Public computer? Sure. Everyone does that at some point. Pausing the show to take pictures of cleavage with your camera phone... Um... WHAT?! Have you no shame?! This is a library!!!!! I would never have noticed except that I walked in to the lab in time to see it happen. --facepalm-- The things people do with technology never fail to stun me. If this is an example of humanity's future, I think I will go hang myself. I despair so heartily at this, that I absolutely must find a river and drown myself in it. I MUST find a cyanide or arsenic pill and chew it. At this point, Humanity Repels Me.

PAIN

my leg hurts. My right leg hurts! The thigh, the knee, the calf, the shin, the ankle, the toes. The entire damn leg hurts like the dickens. I can't stand for five minutes without my leg giving out from under me, and walking, don't get me started on the walking. Getting from my room to the living room and back is a chore. Have I mentioned the limp? Yes, it hurts so much I'm limping. Yes, I'm whining, but considering the pain I'm in, I think I'm entitled, yes? Yes. This is me. In pain. Feel the Melodrama!

Rain, rain, come again for another day

It's raining. I love the rain. I love smell of rain and the feel of it on my skin. I love the sound of the rain falling through the leaves and the way light reflects and refracts on every drop. I love how the rain gives me a legitimate reason to stay indoors and become a hermit.

It's raining. I hate the rain. I hate how the cold makes my neck muscles tighten and knot up. I hate how it makes my arm heavy, my wrist hurt, my ankles twinge, and my back ache. I hate how it makes my knees pop when I turn, and I hate how the rain makes me sleepy and lazy. I hate how the rain traps me indoors with people I don't like, doing things I'd rather not be doing, and keeping me from going out to see my friends.

It's raining. I love and hate the rain in equal measures, and this is one of those times when I would really like for it to rain through the night and all through the rest of tomorrow, because if it does, I have a legitimate reason not to go to Rose Hills. I loved my Great-grandmother, I really did. I did not stop loving her just because she died, but I don't exactly believe that her spirit is watching over us from the afterlife. Death is death. Everything ends and everything dies, and THE END. I went and lit incense for her and burned paper for her at her funeral because it was her funeral and who am I to argue with tradition? Afterward, I did all that because it's what my family does but as far as I'm concerned, it's all a bunch of mumble-jumbo. What do the dead care about the living? They're dead! I see no benefit psychologically or emotionally to laying offerings and burning incense to what is literally a patch of decorated stone laid on top of grave dirt under which is rotten wood, the remnants of clothing fibers, and calcium structure.

Call me disrespectful. Call me unfilial. I really don't care. I do not see why I should waste time, effort, and money, traveling to Rose Hills just to pay obeisance to a patch of grave dirt. What is it going to do if I don't go? Form a dirt monster and eat me? Please.

With This Ring...

Ok, intellectually, I've known that my friends have been getting married left and right since the lot of us graduated from High School. I myself was engaged since I started High School, and he and I had been slated to be married in April this year, not that's happening since Allan and I broke it off last year. Arranged marriages, Hah!

But what happened was that my ex-fiancee FINALLY, after four years, bought and sent to me the RING. That's right, the Ring that should have been on my finger since sophomore year in college, was finally bought, and he sent it to me. I too a picture of it, and stuck it in an album. Then, just for the hell of it, I started going through said album. I made after High School and I periodically snatched pictures off social medias like Facebook, where and whenever my friends posted a photo. That's when I realized, "Holy Stars, my friends have been getting hitched left and right!"

And I just felt so lonely. They are my friends, and I'm happy for them. It's just that I haven't been in a really serious relationship since Allan and I got engaged, and even after we broke it off, I wasn't inclined to date. No matter what Kenny and YuYing say about my relationship with Kendrick. It's all entirely platonic! But with so many friends getting married left and right, I am entirely justified in saying I feel lonely, right?


So, just to make myself feel better-or worse, depending on your opinion-I made this:

I call it: With This Ring....

Ohmnomnomnom

Rice flour cakes sautéed with veggies, jalapeno, and pork.

Ohmnomnomnomnomnom

Needlework ahoy!

right... So I Decided it might be an interesting idea to take up needlework again, but it's been so long, so I decided to start with something simple. No chain stitches, no running stitch, no satin stitch. The most complicated stitch I used here was the feather stitch for the leaves. So... What do you think?

FYI: if anyone is interested, here's a challenge: I had to free hand one of the roses since the pattern didn't apply properly. Can anyone tell me which of the three was done without following a pattern?

Day Point

It's the last day of finals, so I finally got started on my resolution to improve my needlework. It takes time.

So I dug out the embroidery hoop and got started on a few basic stitches. Didn't come out quite as I had hoped. Kept practicing for a few hours, but then I got bored and tired, so I dug out some cloth scraps and started working on a Temari Ball. In terms of needle work, a Temari Ball is complicated in how detail intensive it is. Tightly winding strips of cloth, then yarn, then thread, and then the needlework begins. I have a ball about the size of my fist now, but I need white yarn, and I just don't have any, so it's back to the embroidery.

UG... What a day...

So, second day of finals. What. A. Drag.

So have you ever had one of those days where you are so tired and disoriented, and you're surfing the net and clicking, and then click something you didn't mean to? Like say, a follow button? Because, Oopsies! I did exactly that, and the site in question does not have a "Unfollow" Button, which, logically, all sites have! --facepalm--

Well, actually, the help center said that every page on the site in question has a "Unfollow" Button, but thus far, I've only seen three. And the Page I accidentally followed? Yeah.... Not one of the three.

Set Date and Time

So my friends and I have been planning to get together and have dinner and drinks for a while. I just found out that the number of guests will be at least six, edging toward eight, which makes me just a little but worried, so I'm going to make an addition to the menu. I'd already planned on Potato Soup with Shrimp, Sicilian Style Cauliflower with Whole Wheat Pasta, Mashed Potatoes au Gratin with Onions and Cheese, and a Pineapple Citrus Salad with Coconut. I'm trying to decide if I should make a Meatloaf or cheat with Bread Sticks.

All of this will be taking place on March 28, at K.Lim's House on Crest Vista Drive, and Prep Time starts at 9-10AM. Or at Least Shopping Time starts then. Afterward, we're quite likely to start cooking. If things go as planned, we'll finish by 1-2PM, and we'll be able to have a late lunch.

The Guest List is as follows: Joyce, Kendrick, Kenny, Michelle, Pansy, Priscilla, Sanchi, and Sanna.

We wil not have dancing, but we will have dinner and drinks.

A Sincere Lack of Common Sense

Common Sense dictates that if you are aware that you are being followed, you don't stop the car, you don't get out of the car, you don't drop off your passengers, and most importantly, you don't go home or to the home of your family members.

Which is exactly what my Uncle Robert did NOT do.

He knew he was being followed, all the way from his home in Montebello, and did he turn into the parking lot at City Hall, which was right ACROSS THE STREET? No. He stops the car in front of Grandmom's house, and let the kids come in. And what happened? The guy who followed him, sat in HIS car, in front of Grandmom's house, for half an hour. Pretending to talk on the phone. Adjusting mirrors to watch the house. His face alternately turned toward the Gym across the street or covered by his hand when he turned to look directly at the house.

No, we don't have the license plate number, because 1)  No one who has been raised by my Grandparents are stupid enough to go outside when something like this happens, and 2) Uncle Robert came back. Parked the car, and came inside. WHILE THE STALKER WAS STILL THERE.

Facepalm.

I know Grandmom and Grandfather will NOT be sleeping well tonight if at all after this latest in a very long string of shows of stupidity by my erstwhile Uncle Robert. All I can say is "Thank the Stars that Uncle Robert is only my Uncle by marriage, because if I had his blood, I'd have slit my wrists in frustration a long time ago.

Something that happened today

Puppy the perv walking through the house in only his underwear while I'm in the computer room. FYI, Pervy-Pup, I can still see you from the corner of my eyes and I wasn't even looking. FYI2: Picking up your slippers for you is tantamount to an invitation you know. XD

TF/DW Crossover Commentary

Ah, yes, the post for the day that is posted on the day after. XD Made no sense to me. XDXD

Uncle Quoc just got back from his trip to Thailand. Ironically, I was ready to sit in Grandmom's house until she and grandfather got back, but I got a reprieve because Uncle Quoc came home. XD Talk about incredible timing.

Now, onward... I was watching Transformers Dark of Moon and a thought hit me: What would the Doctor think of Drillbot?

"Oh, you're gorgeous! Absolutely beautiful! I have to say, it would be criminal, absolutely criminal to dismantle you!"

And I can actually hear the Tenth Doctor say it too. Actually, he did say something similar to the above in Season 2: The Girl in the Fireplace.

Of course, in my head, the Doctor is just fanboying and gushing over Drillbot and all the while, he'll be bearing down on the Doctor, and someone, either Epps or Sam, most likely Epps, grabs him and says, "Fanboy over the Decepticon later! Just run!" And so the Doctor runs for his life. XD

God, I'm obsessed. It's that stupid TF/DW bunny, I swear. I've already elaborated on it once, and stuff keeps popping up to add to it!

Floaty, Floaty

So yesterday Mom dropped a ring down the sink. So Grandfather called someone to help us pull it out, and the ring wasn't there. Turns out, she lost the ring in question MONTHS ago. --rolls eyes-- So today Grandfather called the guy back because the pipe was leaking. Just my luck that I am still home. Why? Because I have to watch the house to make sure nothing untoward happens.

This is torture be cause the guy apparently is a smoker and the smoke smell is so strong I can smell it from  down the hall, and to make things worse, I'm right next to a window.

An Expansion on an Old Plot Bunny

<b>A little expansion on an old plot bunny with a twist:</b>



A solitary figure, hooded and cloaked, carried a box through the mausoleum, past shelf after shelf of blankly staring human skulls.

"Who is that? Who is carrying me? I demand to know!" a voice demanded angrily from the box. "I'm a head. I have rights. I want my doors open this time."

The cloaked figure set the box onto a plinth.

"I demand that my door is open!"

The figure slid open the box with a swift gesture to reveal a bald blue head. Wordlessly, the figure turned and walked away.

"Is it you? It is you isn't it?" the disembodied head asked. The figure paused and slowly shuffled around to partially face the head. "It is you! I can sense it! How did you do it? How could you have possibly escaped!"

The figure dropped the cape to reveal a youngish man with floppy brown hair and green eyes clad in a distinctive tweed jacket with a blue bowtie. He turned and smirked at the befuddled head.

"The Teselecta. The Doctor in a Doctor suit," he sounded unmistakably smug as he strode toward the disembodied head on a plinth. "Time said I had to be on that beach, so I dressed for the occasion. Barely got singed in that boat."

"So you're really going to do this? Let them all think you're dead."

"It's the only way. Then they can all forget me. I got too big, Dorium, too noisy. It's time to step back in to the shadows."

"And Doctor Song? Imprisoned all her days?"

"Her days, yes," the Doctor agreed, "As for her nights, well," his lips twitched into a suggestive smile, "that's between her and me, isn't it?"

Dorium chuckled. "So many secrets, Doctor, of course, I'll help you keep them."

"Well, you're not exactly going anywhere are you?"

"But you're a fool nonetheless," Dorium's voice shifted from amused camaraderie to rebuking in seconds, "It's all still waiting for you, The Fields of Trenzalore, the Fall of the Eleventh, and the Question."

The Doctor smiled and mock saluted the head in a box, "Goodbye, Dorium." He turned and strode away without looking back.

"The first question: the question that must never be answered: hidden in plain sight!" Dorium's voice rose as the Doctor got farther and farther away, "The question you've been running from all your life!"

That line wiped any hint of geniality from the Doctor's face as he increased his pace slightly.

"Doctor who?"

The Doctor paused in front of his TARDIS and turned to look back, lifting his head slowly.

"Doctor who?" Dorium called.

Unseen by the head, a corner of the Doctor's lips lifted in a wry, cold smirk.

"Doctor WHO!?"

---


The young man jerked awake, sitting up with a gasp. He stared blankly at the poster covered walls in front of him for a moment before turning slightly and taking in the entire dormitory and his roommate curled up under the covers in the bed on the other side of the room. The room was silent but for the ticking of a clock and the soft, whuffling snores of his roommate.

He turned and pulled open a drawer in the bedside table and drew out a small silver pocketwatch engraved in an elaborate pattern and concentric circles. He held it gently in his right hand, gently thumbing the catch, but applying no pressure. He could hear a faint whispering from the watch, and the weight and warmth of ages oozing from the aged metal. The young man known as Samuel James Witwicky twisted in his bed and reached under his pillow to pull out a cylindrical object seemingly made of brass topped by a green bulb in silver brackets. He aimed it at one of the three desktop computers and pressed a button, and the green bulb flashed to life with a low whining buzz, and the computer monitor lit up. He stopped pressing the button, and the light and buzzing ceased, and Sam smiled a slow, secretive smile, one reminiscent of a floppy haired man with a love for tweed a bowties whom many thought to have died not too long ago on the shores of a lake in Utah.

Concentric Chapter 3: Currents, a doctor who fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Concentric Chapter 3: Currents, a doctor who fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Something that I'm reading and felt I should put up if only to better come back to it later.

Interesting thought

I'm not a dedicated drinker. Nor do I make a habit of drinking often, but of late, I do seem to be drinking more regularly. Heh. Nothing like a bit of wine or sake to get the creative juices flowing. Of course, what I write while under the influence is rarely ever the most coherent thing in the universe, which is interesting, because what in the name of sanity does a H-Neutrino Loop have to do with Cascading Causality and what in the name of Gallifrey is an H-Neutrino Loop and why does it react negatively when attached to a Hyper Esther Coil? In fact, if I knew what an H-Neutrino Loop is, or a Hyper Esther Coil and what on Earth is Cascading Causality, I don't know them now. Don't you just love what alcohol does to a person?

Oops

Went to the library today, then Kendrick dropped by and we went to Barnes&Noble and BevMo. Now I am feeling a tad dizzy. gonna go have a lie down.

Ok, Here's a Question, Just One...

Happy Chinese New Year all.

Ok, so here's what happened today. I'm sitting with a classmate in the library and considering our respective majors, and the links to various medical fields, it's perfectly normal for us to get talking about stuff that connects our respective majors. In the case of today's conversation, mental disorders and how to treat them. So then out of nowhere, we get blind sided by this HUGE woman, and when I say huge, I mean that she was, like, jiggly in places that shouldn't be jiggly and would probably get stuck in the door if the paint was any thicker, huge. And so she was yelling at us about discriminating against people with mental disorders.

So here is the question of the hour: How exactly does a would-be pharmacist and a future psychologist discussing a medical condition become discrimination?

Sadness

So as it turns out, MegaVideo was shut down. Now how will I watch Doctor Who and Secret Diary of a Call Girl? I mean, Youtube can only go so far, you know? I mean, I can use Wikipedia and watch the snippets and get general idea of what's going on, but that's no replacement for being able to watch the entire video. Well still, I guess I can live with this. Not like I haven't done it be fore.

Just a Thought

I just realized that I was much more regular in my posting back in High School and the early days of college, even if it was all mostly complaining about my day. Yeah, I've been going through back posts. XD

There was even a point where this blog was being used for schoolwork, can you believe it?

Wow. XD I really was a dedicated blogger way back when wasn't I?

Doctor Who Fic: Forever (10.5/Rose/11)

Title: Forever
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters and concepts of Doctor Who belongs to all affiliated creators and producers and distributors. I make no money off this work of fiction.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Mentions of 10/Rose/10.5 and 10.5/Rose/11
Summary: The last stop of the Doctor's Farewell Tour before Lake Silencio is a place he knows he's better off staying away from.

~*~

It was a dangerous thing to do, going back to a time when the universe was so unstable and forcing open a crack in space and time. Still, it was his Farewell Tour, his LAST farewell tour, and surely he couldn't be expected to settle for a Rose who couldn't recognize him because she's yet to meet him, or a Rose who knew him but couldn't be allowed to know him for fear of the timelines collapsing.

It's stupid and dangerous and his hearts are pounding, pounding and drumming so hard against his ribs that he thinks it's a miracle that they haven't burst out of his chest in a shower of blood, bone and gore. Still, it's quiet in the facility, and he knows he only has so much time. Knowing how his former regeneration thought, with a bit of leeway to compensate for what the metacrisis clone would have gotten from Donna, he'd planned the coming conversation to the last chronom. But it didn't mean he had much time to spare.

He checked the perception filter before slipping the cord over his head and tucking the rose shaped pendant under his collar, out of sight. He scanned the Vortex Manipulator, borrowed from Jack Harkness for this one visit, with his sonic screwdriver to ensure that everything was working as it should. He checked the device that he'd rigged to keep the crack open until his return (Couldn't risk being trapped on the other side, who knows what would happen?), and took a step back. He pointed the Sonic Screwdriver and turned it on. The crack groaned and slammed open and he lept forward, flipping switches and pressing buttons, and the device hummed to life as the crack opened a bit wider before settling. The pale light spilling though the Rift dimmed and vanished to reveal an empty room on the other side.

The Doctor took a deep breath, adjusted his bowtie, tugged his jacket to settle properly on his shoulders, and stepped through the Rift.

~*~

It hurt, being left behind. After all that work put into finding him, he just dropped her back off in Bad Wolf Bay in the parallel universe with a clone of himself. It didn't matter that the clone, now called John Noble, had all the memories of the original and loved her just as much as the original. He just wasn't him. It was supposed to be Rose and the Doctor in the Tardis, forever, not Rose and the Clone and the new Tardis. She hated it. Hated it.

Still, for the sake of her mum and Pete, because the Doctor was right the first time round. Pete was not her dad, no matter that he accepted her as his. For her Mum and little Tony and Pete, who she'd come to love like a doting uncle, and for John, whom she had come to love as a friend, she pretended to be madly and wholly in love. She pretended to be happy. But she wasn't. She wasn't.

She understood why he'd done it. She and John had talked about it, and while she wasn't angry about it any more, she still didn't like it.

Still. It was doubly hard, because everything was changing all around her, and she was not. Even John was changing, and she knew that if this kept up, they would come to hate each other, and the thought of hating any aspect of the Doctor frightened her. She wasn't happy. She'd never be happy unless she was with her Doctor again.

~*~

She didn't accept him. She didn't love him, not in the way hewanted her to. But Rose was right in this much, John Noble was only a copy of the Doctor. He has equal amounts of Donna Noble and the Doctor in him. This means that sometimes he's ruder and more emotional than the Doctor ever allowed himself to be, but sees and understands more than Donna ever wanted to. This means that the love he had for Rose was shifting. It wasn't the intense all devouring love he'd felt back before the split, it was changing into something softer, more tender, more platonic.

Still, he loves Rose, he wants her to be happy, (really happy, not this terrible pretending that would eventually break her, but a true, soul deep happy that she's only ever been with the Doctor) the only thing he'd brought with him away from the Doctor, the only thing that was constant in his ever changing life was Rose, and how much he loved her. It didn't matter that it wasn't the all consuming love from the beginning, it was still love. So he'd find a way to send her back. Send her to himself, the original Doctor, and let her have her forever with him, especially now that she could give it to him.

Because in the end, much as he loved her, he was becoming tired of being second best. It was only a matter of time before that niggling disquiet became resentment and hate, and the last thing he wanted was to hate Rose.

Cracks were appearing in the skin of the universe, and he'd find a way to use them to send her back to the Doctor.

This way, he'd stay here, he'd miss her, but he would still love her. Rose would be happy. He'd keep loving her with a bittersweet love, because she was far too good and sweet a person to be hated. And he loved her so very much that the thought that one day he'd come to resent her, and she him, scared him witless.

~*~

The Estate was dark and quiet. It was to be expected considering the time. He didn't walk right in. He was a bit reckless but he wasn't stupid and he didn't look like he had in the last incarnation. The household security was like as not to shoot him on sight if he tried. That's where Jack's Vortex Manipulator came into play. He pressed several buttons, and vanished in a crackle of light and electricity.

~*~

He'd sensed him almost as soon as he'd arrived, the soft brush of a Time Lord mind against his. The Doctor had come. It was why, despite the late hour, he was still awake. There was a crackle of light and electricity John smiled at the young looking man with green eyes with floppy hair and dressed in tweed with red bracers and blue bow-tie who appeared in front of him.

"Look at you!" John said cheerily, "Just look at you! You've changed!" He leaned forward and said in mock-astonished tones, "You've gotten younger!"

The Doctor smiled wryly, "And you've changed also. Age seems to be treating you well."

"Yeah? To be expected, right? Ten years and all..." John rubbed his sideburns, which had started to grey. "So..."

"I thought you'd want to know, since the timelines have since diverged," the Doctor murmured, "I encountered River Song again."

"Oh."

The door into the study opened slightly and in the reflection on the window, there was a flash of pink and gold at the door. The two versions of the Doctor ignored it.

"Did you ever find out who she was to us?"

"Yes."

The Doctor sat down in one of the armchairs by the fire, and the Human Doctor leaned forward as the Doctor told him everything, from wiping Donna's memories to save her to the discovery of who River Song was. It was a bit odd, telling someone who was essentially himself what had happened. But it felt good. He was glad to be able to speak to another Time Lord who understood. Their timelines and memories had diverged enough that they were quintessentially two separate people. It felt nice to be able to talk to someone who wouldn't judge his choices, who understood the reasoning behind them, who recognized how the ramifications of those choices followed him. It was nice to just talk.

"The daughter of your companions huh? Domestic." John joked weakly.

He knew that there was more that the Doctor wasn't telling him.

"I'd always known I'd take her to Daryllium one day," the Doctor confessed, "I never thought it would end quite like this though."

"Doctor?"

The Doctor raised sad green eyes to meet the brown of his clone, "Last night I took River Song to the Singing Towers of Daryllium. Today, it is the Twenty-Second of April in the year 2011 and it is currently 5:02 AM. In twelve hours time, on the shores of Lake Silencio in Utah, at the hands of my wife, (John's eye's widened, "What?" he cried. The Doctor continued as if nothing had happened.) I die."

"What?!"

"Permanent death this time."

"WHAT?!"

"NO!"

The door swung open with a crash and the two men twisted in their chairs to stare at the woman in the doorway.

"Rose!" the two Doctors cried.

"Doctor... You can't!"

Both men cringed. Tears were streaming down her cheeks again. The location was different, the circumstances were different, but oh, so many things were the same. Rose, their precious, beautiful Rose, was crying again, all because of the Doctor who was, once again, saying goodbye.

"I have to Rose," the Doctor said sadly, "It's a fixed event."

"But you can't!"

"I have to."

"Not really," John mused, "It just has to look like you died."

"Easier said than done."

"It would be easy I think," John said softly, "Get a Teselecta or a Ganger and send them in your place." He paused. "Maybe not a Ganger. You'll want a corpse that won't de-constitute itself after the first shot. A Teselecta or a Clone may be the best choice then, since River likely knows to burn the body when a Time Lord dies."

The Doctor studied John and said softly, "'Demons Run when a good man goes to war/Night will fall and drown the sun/When a good man goes to war/Friendship dies and true love lies/Night will fall and the dark will rise/When a good man goes to war/Demons run, but count the cost/The battle's won but the child is lost.'

I'd never risen higher, but likewise, I'd never fallen lower. I've become too big, too noisy. The word 'Doctor' means wise man and healer, a word that the universe got from us. If I continue as I have, then what will I become? Already the name 'Doctor' has begun to warp. Did you know, in the Gamma Forests, the word Doctor means 'Great Warrior'? This can't continue, and if I have to die to step back into the shadows, then..." he hesitated briefly, "then so be it."

John looked sad as he shrugged, "It's your life, I suppose. We don't have much in the way of how you live or die." He gave the Doctor a penetrating look before saying, "But you should consider this, what will Rose do after I die?"

The Doctor looked confused, "What?" A hint of his tenth self leaked into the question, which made Rose give him a teary smile. He felt his hearts twist.

"Ten years, Doctor. It's been ten years since we last saw you," Rose whispered, "John changes, Mum changed, Pete changed, even Tony is all grown up, but look at me. Ten years and I'm still the same. I'm still the same while the world changes around me."

"Oh, Rose..." the Doctor stood up and pulled Rose into his embrace. She clung to the lapels of his tweed overcoat as if her life depended on it, her tears soaking into his collar. "I didn't know," he whispered into her hair, "If I'd known..." The Doctor swallowed hard and murmured, "All I wanted was for you to be safe and happy, I thought if you had something of myself to hold on to..." his voice cracked, "but all I've done is hurt you. I'm so sorry, Rose..."

"Take her with you when you go," John said firmly, "You've taken River to Daryllium, you know what's next. And Rose needs you." He smiled wryly, "Besides, now you can have the forever she promised you."

"But what about you?"

"I'll be fine." John smiled, "I got a gift, a wonderful, irreplacable gift. For ten years, I got to have domestic with a good woman who tried for love of us both. I'll hold the shared time close to my heart and move on. Exactly like a human would."

The Doctor looked between Rose and John and nodded. "I'll be without a wife soon anyway," he said softly, "It'll be good to have a friendly face on the Tardis."

Rose gave the two a watery smile. "I'll go pack my bag. Oh, and I'll have to call mum and Pete."

"Write them a note," John suggested, "I'll deliver it in the morning."

~*~

Finite