Seniors start vacation earlier than the rest of the school by a week. So I'm at home right now. Graduation is coming up. I really can't wait. I'm also on the sad side. I'm basically leaving behind my childhood once I cross the stage. I'm going to miss my friends. I don't make friends very easily, and even if I do have people around me, they aren't really my friends until I start talking, like really talking, to them, and no just gossip, but kinda like, certain aspects of my life. My not so great childhood for example...
I would give almost anything for time to stand still where it was before June 9, 2006. It's really sad, because most High School friends tend to drift apart despite the promise to stay in touch. I really miss them, and I've only left school under 4 days ago.
Then again, I'm probably just being silly, cause everyone who leaves High School feels the same way. We're leaving what has been familiar for something totally different. While we were in High School, we were totally dependant on our parents and teachers, and now that we're graduating, we're gonna have to learn to be self sufficient. No one's gonna coddle us anymore, and this is the limit to our parents' support, and our teachers from this point on are hardly going to care whether or not we succeed so long as they get paid. We're gonna be in charge of our lives now, and however much we may have been looking forward to this point in our lives in the past, now that we are here, everything is different. We're frightened and looking back longingly for something we took for granted and couldn't wait to leave, and now what we looked forward to no longer looks so appealing.
I'm gonna miss my old life, my friends, and my teachers. I... I'm scared, and you know what? I don't have any idea what I'm gonna do. Hell, I haven't even ordered my transcripts yet. Pathetic, ain't I?
My chest it tight and empty, I can't breathe. I guess this is how it feels to be terrified out of your wits.
Here is a rundown of my schedule for the week...
On Wednesday, June 14, 2006, there is going to be the cap and gown distribution at 12:30-2:00 PM. I have no idea where we are gonna pick them up, and I can't find anything on the school site either.
On Thursday, June 15, 2006, is the graduation rehersal. Don't know when it will start, but graduation ticket distribution probably starts at 9:00 AM. How am I gonna get into Aztec Field? I have no idea. Probably through West Gate.
5:15 PM on the same day is Graduation line-up. Best to get there at 5:00 or 4:50 PM.
6:00 PM same day the graduation ceremony starts.
9:30 PM same day, we leave for Disneyland Grad Night at the front lawn. Best to bring my things on that day to leave in the trunk of the car, just in case.
Friday, June 16, 2006, we'l get back from Grad Night at the Front Lawn at approximately 6:30 AM.
So yeah.... I'm bored, but also kinda sad. I... I've basically been repeating the same thing over and over since school started in September, I really don't wanna go. It's gonna be really sad, and I'm gonna miss everybody. Well, There's no use moping about it.
I keep telling my friends who are underclassmen, ~LIVE FOR THE FUTURE~*~LIVE IN THE PRESENT~ But it seems like I'm not taking my own advice. I'm basically living in the past, trying to stop here for as long as possible, putting off the inevitable growth from adolecence to adulthood. It's too late though, I should have done that when I had the chance, and all I can do now is look to the future. Hopefully, everything will turn out allright, and even if we do loose touch, at the very least, we have our memories. Or, we can hope against hope, and one day in the distant or not so distant future, meet again, and relive old memories, catch up, and build a new and stranger bond of friendship than the one we have now.
