Euphoria: A Graduation Story

Euphoria: A Graduation Story

The sun is warm and bright, the skies are a clear azure, the air is filled with the chatter of excitement and the birds are singing merrily while on the field gathers a sea of red robes and caps adorned with red and white tassels and the many different colored chords…

To the dark haired girl, it seemed almost surreal…

Everywhere are the signs of a growing and changing generation, as the graduates lined up and laughed with friends and spoke with teachers. A soft breeze whispered past crimson polyester, whipping the robes around their feet, toying with the tassels and teasing loose hair. Everywhere was joyous cries and sparkling eyes as the exuberant spirits of the graduates soared and thickened the air with nervousness and excitement.

Soft strains of music drifted to expectant ears, and the chattering rose into whoops and cheers as they recognized the graduation song. One by one, they filed out into the stadium, passing under white arches festooned with flora under the light of the setting sun. The expectant expressions of joy and excitement tinged with agitation and more than a little fear and reluctance surrounded her, even as they moved to stand before their seats.

Time passed in a blur of names and applause as the speakers gave their speeches, named members of their clubs and organizations as the named graduates rose to their feet to be recognized. As the two Valadictorians gave their speeches and led the graduates in a cheer to celebrate their successes, she felt a blinding euphoria in her, and a desire for time to stand still at that singular moment, a moment when the entire Graduating Class stood together, yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs, smiles on their faces, mere moments away from true adulthood. All too soon, they were seated and she sat between two good friends, waiting and watching as other members of the class lined up, two rows at a time, one on both sides of the stage as each gradauate stepped forward to accept their awards.

Soon, it was nearly her turn, and she was acutely aware of the mass of bodies at her back. The faces of her audience were flesh colored blurs and her blood was a hot, roaring surge in her ears. She was aware of the cotton of her light sweater against her skin, of the coolness of her pink crystal beads around her neck, of the slight weight of her chandelier earrings in her ears, of the soft leater of her white shoes against her feet, and of the polyester gown covering her knuckles as she clasped her hands in front of her. Her face was frozen in a polite yet nervous smile of excitement, as her mind whirled about in a disorganized jumble of thoughts. She heard, as if from a long distance, her name being called, and in a daze she mounted the steps of the stage. Her surroundings took on a dreamlike quality and she misjudged the number of steps and stumbled as she mounted the stage. Her body shook like a leaf as she shook the Board Member's hand and accepted the cover for her diploma, and as she and the School Board Member turned to face the audience to have their pictures taken, she felt time stand still. Then, the camera flashed and she smiled was once more on the cool grass, the hem of her robes brushing over the plants as she returned to her seat.

She smiled as the ceremony continued, and ran her fingers softly over the imitation leather and the gold lettering spelling out the name of the school. Her eyes prickled, and she resolutely pushed her tears away. Now was not the time to cry. How would she beable to face the cameras if her face was red and tearstained with her eyes red and puffy from crying? Maybe after Grad Night, when it was safe, she would cry. She looked up and squared her shoulders, smiling happily and clapping with sincere joy and excitement as her friends' names were called, and they walked up to collect their own awards.

All too soon, the ceremony drew to a close. She, in her joy of passing a hurdle that her more cynical family members had always claimed she would never pass, threw her hat into the air with a joyful cry, her voice becoming one of many exuberent yells and cheers. She watched as it traveled a graceful arc and landed, and her sight was blocked by joyful friends with whom she joined in an embraced that conveyed a multitude of emotions from congratulations to joy to sadness of being parted after four glorious years of an unpredictable but close friendship. And then she was swept off with the crowd of red as they passed between two rows of teachers on their way to the field behind the stadium to pick up their diplomas, to say their last goodbyes or their last words of friendships, before being swept out onto the front lawn to meet with proud parents and sad underclassmen friends and departing classmates and to take their last pictures in their caps and gowns, with their newest accessory, their diplomas.

Inwardly, she mourned the loss of her cap, knowing that her parents would be upset, but the joy of graduation, and the melencholy of leaving her friends and all that had been familiar, of leaving the school that had become a second home to her, surged to the forefront as she and various friends embraced their former teachers.

"Merrily, merrily, merrily," she thought, smiling as she remembered the old nursery rhyme, "life is but a dream..."

She plunged into the heart of the crowd, and her cap was forgotten for the moment...

THE END

Graduation

OMG.... I'm graduating in four hours....

I am so FREAKED!!!!!!!!

Leaving high school for college... I am so NERVOUS!!!!!

I AM GRADUATING TODAY!!!!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!

GRADUATION!!!!!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH yeah! Mark Keppel High School Class of 2006, we rock!!!!!

WHOOHOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Graduation in under 4 days

Seniors start vacation earlier than the rest of the school by a week. So I'm at home right now. Graduation is coming up. I really can't wait. I'm also on the sad side. I'm basically leaving behind my childhood once I cross the stage. I'm going to miss my friends. I don't make friends very easily, and even if I do have people around me, they aren't really my friends until I start talking, like really talking, to them, and no just gossip, but kinda like, certain aspects of my life. My not so great childhood for example...

I would give almost anything for time to stand still where it was before June 9, 2006. It's really sad, because most High School friends tend to drift apart despite the promise to stay in touch. I really miss them, and I've only left school under 4 days ago.

Then again, I'm probably just being silly, cause everyone who leaves High School feels the same way. We're leaving what has been familiar for something totally different. While we were in High School, we were totally dependant on our parents and teachers, and now that we're graduating, we're gonna have to learn to be self sufficient. No one's gonna coddle us anymore, and this is the limit to our parents' support, and our teachers from this point on are hardly going to care whether or not we succeed so long as they get paid. We're gonna be in charge of our lives now, and however much we may have been looking forward to this point in our lives in the past, now that we are here, everything is different. We're frightened and looking back longingly for something we took for granted and couldn't wait to leave, and now what we looked forward to no longer looks so appealing.

I'm gonna miss my old life, my friends, and my teachers. I... I'm scared, and you know what? I don't have any idea what I'm gonna do. Hell, I haven't even ordered my transcripts yet. Pathetic, ain't I?

My chest it tight and empty, I can't breathe. I guess this is how it feels to be terrified out of your wits.

Here is a rundown of my schedule for the week...

On Wednesday, June 14, 2006, there is going to be the cap and gown distribution at 12:30-2:00 PM. I have no idea where we are gonna pick them up, and I can't find anything on the school site either.

On Thursday, June 15, 2006, is the graduation rehersal. Don't know when it will start, but graduation ticket distribution probably starts at 9:00 AM. How am I gonna get into Aztec Field? I have no idea. Probably through West Gate.

5:15 PM on the same day is Graduation line-up. Best to get there at 5:00 or 4:50 PM.

6:00 PM same day the graduation ceremony starts.

9:30 PM same day, we leave for Disneyland Grad Night at the front lawn. Best to bring my things on that day to leave in the trunk of the car, just in case.

Friday, June 16, 2006, we'l get back from Grad Night at the Front Lawn at approximately 6:30 AM.

So yeah.... I'm bored, but also kinda sad. I... I've basically been repeating the same thing over and over since school started in September, I really don't wanna go. It's gonna be really sad, and I'm gonna miss everybody. Well, There's no use moping about it.

I keep telling my friends who are underclassmen, ~LIVE FOR THE FUTURE~*~LIVE IN THE PRESENT~ But it seems like I'm not taking my own advice. I'm basically living in the past, trying to stop here for as long as possible, putting off the inevitable growth from adolecence to adulthood. It's too late though, I should have done that when I had the chance, and all I can do now is look to the future. Hopefully, everything will turn out allright, and even if we do loose touch, at the very least, we have our memories. Or, we can hope against hope, and one day in the distant or not so distant future, meet again, and relive old memories, catch up, and build a new and stranger bond of friendship than the one we have now.

Missing You: A Graduation Story

This is dedicated to all of my friends, Sanna, Sanchi, Yu Ying, Yu Yu, Pansy, Phyllis, Amy, Allen, Kenny, Wen, Tina, Dana, Mitsuki, Margret, Amy Leiu, Joyce, Amy Loung, Amy G, Kendrick, Kevin, Timothy, Vina, Michelle, Christine, Jeanette, Stephanie, Alex, Chris, Laine, Jeff, Peter, and Jan, who stood by me throughout my academic career. Thank you all for being there for me, when I needed you most, and I'll miss you all.




The dark haired girl sits wordlessly at the desk, her pen rapidly scribbling in the spiral bound notebook. She looks up at the clock occasionally, dark hazel eyes filled with excitement, longing, and deep sorrow. It is Friday, June 9, 2006, 2:27 PM. There is only ten minutes left before she, like her fellow Seniors would leave the campus for the last time as a student, only returning for cap and gown distribution, for the graduation rehearsal, and for the graduation ceremony itself.

She looks at the clock again. 2:30 PM. Seven more minutes. Seven more minutes of childhood, of sitting in the classrooms, echoing with laughter of previous students, seven more minutes before the echoes of the Graduating Class of 2006 becomes mere memories in the long beige halls, memories like the graduating classes before them, memories like the graduating classes that will come after them. It was almost time to go. Anita Wong, a Junior who sits beside her pulls out a camera.

“The only Senior in this class besides the Student Aide,” Anita said, “Lets take a picture!”

The girl smiles, and nods, as she and Anita leans toward one another. There is a few seconds where her heart leaps, and for a brief moment, the cold loneliness in her is replaced with a sense of belonging, of warmth of being with a friend. There is a flash, and she and Anita pulls apart, and she and Anita smile as they look at the picture on the screen. Anita smiles at her, and she smiles back, a sad smile tinged with warmth. Anita returns to her seat and turns to the boy behind her and strikes up a conversation while the girl turns back to her story, the warmth in her heart slowly being replaced by a creeping cold.

2:35, and she throws her things back into her bag and the teacher nods in permission and she runs out the door. The cold and pain is almost unbearable, and she runs to catch up with a friend, putting on a jovial mask. She whoops as the actual bell rings.

“Glad to be gone?” the boy asks.

“Yeah,” she answered as they run to the crosswalk. They say no more as they wait across the street for the bus.

The bus arrives at 2:40 as expected, and there is the usual jostling and pushing as students eager to get home board the bus. She is among the first ones to enter and take the seat nearest the door, and her face is a blank mask. She knows that this will be the last time she will be taking this bus as a student, and her chest tightens. She fights back tears as the bus leaves the stop. She gets off early, at the stop near the Senior Citizen Center, the quickest way home without riding the entire circuit. Her pace is brisk and almost desperate. She forbids herself to cry as she walks the familiar path.

She arrives home, and drops her things on the floor in the middle of her room. She sinks to her knees and buries her face in her hands, but she does not cry. Slowly, she gets back up and takes things out of her bag. The clothes from her Dance final goes in the hamper, her binders joins the collection on the floor beside her nightstand near her desk (she will go through them when her heart is less raw, she thinks), her yearbook and sketch pad goes on the shelf, and her notebooks joins the collection under her desk. The loose sheets go into folders and drawers and are placed with the binders and notebooks. Loose cash and change either go into her piggy banks or her wallet. Pens and pencils go into pencil cases in various parts of the room, the bag goes into her closet, her wallet, keys, and cell phone go on her nightstand, and the ipod goes into her drawers.

‘Keep moving, don’t think,’ she repeats to herself over and over, “don’t think, keep moving, don’t think!’

Maybe if she doesn’t think about it, if she keeps busy, she won’t remember that she is leaving behind her friends, and her surrogate family (classmates who took on different roles in the ‘family’ from various grades in the school), she won’t remember that she is leaving everything she once knew. Maybe she wouldn’t feel so sad, so lonely, so frightened, or so empty. The silence is too much, she turns on the music. After a while she turns it back off. The music on her computer is too lyrical, too sad, it reminds her too much of her pain and loneliness. She turns on the radio. After a while, she turns that off to. The upbeat music reminds her too much of the fun she had with her friends in her Dance Class, in Fifth Period. There is nothing left to do, there is nothing, and she feels the loneliness hit her full force. She forces back a scream of rage, loneliness, and pain, and forbids herself to cry. She throws herself into the internet, concentrating on the fanfiction, on her writing, on her drawings, anything to avoid reflection.

She does not check her email, she does not sign on into AIM or MSN. She doesn’t touch the phone except to call her mother to let her know that she is home. She doesn’t look at the yearbook, or at her old work.

Night falls, she stays up. She doesn’t want to sleep. She knows if she sleeps, her subconscious will force her to remember, but she hopes that sleep will allow her to escape, to not think, to not feel, to not remember. She does not realize it when she drifts off.

She wakes suddenly. She feels calm, warm, content. She remembers nothing, then she sits up and sees the pictures of her friends on her desk and she remembers. The pain and loneliness returns. She tries not to scream.

The day passes in a blur of meaningless work, of fanfics and writings. She immerses herself in a thick book that she had bought earlier in the year but had never read. She concentrates on her mother’s voice when she lectures her, anything to escape.

The next day is the same. There is nothing but a whirlwind of meaningless work and words to escape. She feels nothing, thinks of nothing, concentrates on nothing, she says nothing. Night falls. She does not sleep. She stares at the computer screen in the darkness until the words blur and she begins to hear echoes of laughter, she remembers snippets of old conversations with friends. She screams in her mind and slowly, she turns off the computer and goes to bed, squeezing her eyes shut.

She dreams of graduation. She dreams of being with her friends, they are happy, laughing, and she waves her diploma in the air and her friends hug her. She dreams of joyous lunch period long past, and of the hours of practice that went into the Dance Final, only for her to screw up in her best routine, Hip Hop, only for her friends to reassure her that it is alright. She feels the warmth of belonging.

Morning comes, and she wakes. Her heart is full and she does not try to run. She turns logs on to AIM and MSN and waits for her underclassmen friends to log on. She checks her email and leaves comments on the Xangas of the friends that she cannot reach on AIM or MSN or with email.

She leaves entries on her journals and cleans her room. There is nothing left for her to do. She stares out the window at the trees and plants in the garden. In the end, she allows herself to think, to reflect on the past year. Tears pool in her eyes, but still she does not allow them to fall. She holds them in her heart, and promises herself that they will not fall until the right time, until she knows that she will never have contact with her school friends again. She promises herself that she will let herself cry later, knowing deep inside herself that later will never come.

She sighs and begins planning what she will wear on graduation, what she will wear for Grad Night, what she will wear for the celebration on June 17, 2006. She plans what she will wear when her Aunt gets engaged on June 24, 2006. She plans and reflects on the past, but she moves forward.

She knows that all the other Seniors in the world is feeling the same way, and that all of them are moving forward. She knows that she will miss her friends and vice versa, and that she will never have friends like them again. She knows that the sadness will fade with time; after all, the sadness of her Eighth Grade Graduation had faded over the past four year.

She moves forward, and does not look back.


The End