day two of the break

Found seven new cuts on my arm. My winter break is getting off to a very bad start.

It's Monday... ((Dejectedly)) Yay...

Oh, It's monday... Joy...

On the good side, There's only two and a half more days to go before break starts.

I'm very glad. My friend has loaned me some DVDs concerning the anime "The Prince of Tennis"

Mitsuki, Karen and Jessica will kill me, but good god! Tezuka, Eiji, Ryoma, Momo, and Fuji are so cute!

My friend Mitsuki is so mean though. I know I haven't seen all the episodes of Prince of Tennis... She doesn't have to be so mean and critisize me though. I know Ryoma cannot stay stoic and anti-social forever, yet she has the gall to critisize me! I asked WHEN it happened... episode number, not spoilers! Geez!

For my own happiness, and the happiness of whoever is reading this, here is a website for Prince of Tennis...

http://www.animechains.com/princeoftennis/

Another Dream, and a Terrifying Discovery...

I dreamed that I was in a large building, with many hallways. There were many doors, and there were little pads in the wall for codes and access cards. I was dressed in a formfitting suit similar to the synergetic suits in "Fafner in the Azure" and there were soldiers shooting at me with sub-machine guns. I knew they were firing sub-machine guns, even though in real life, I woould never be able to identify one... I was in front of a door, the door was shut, and I knew that inside was a computer lab, and my comrade needed time to download the files we needed and to compromise the system, and I was firing my own gun at the enemy.

I remember the door opening after a while, and my comrade, a female with black hair, about 5'3, with red eyes, japanese, dressed the same way I was, came out, and we ran down the halls. I got hit several times, and a few bullets grazed my left arm near the shoulder.

Then the entire dreamscape dissolved into a sea of red, the floor rippled and reflected my image at me, and it was raining blood. There were black feathers and rotting cherry blossoms floating past me on the shimmering red floor, and I knew that the redness was blood.

I started sinking, and I started screaming. The blood went into my mouth, I could taste it, and it flooded my nose. I was drowning in blood, I could see the feathers and rotting cherry above me, every thing was so red, I couldn't breathe or move... Then as my vision started getting dark, I woke up.

When I woke up, my left forearm was hurting, and while I was changing for school, I noticed that there were scratches on my arm near the shoulder. They were exactly where the bullets in my dream hit me, and one of them was still bleeding!

I don't know what is happening. Why am I dreaming such things? Why are injuries from my dreams translating into the waking world? Its fourth period, and my arm still hurts, especially when people in the halls jostle my arm.

I'm scared and confused. What's going on?

Another strange Dream...

I dreamt of money last night. I opened a textbook, my world Lit book, I believe, and found a 10,000 dollar bill... two of them!

And then, I put then inside a rat piggybank that belongs to my mother, at the very bottom! I don't remember dreaming anything else, but I know there was more...

I wish I could understand these weird dreams...

Anyway... I made a new xanga! http://www.xanga.com/AlexaClyne

My original xangas were http://www.xanga.com/LadyKamui16\ and http://www.xanga.com/EarthPrincess16

My live journals are http://www.livejournal.com/users/hitokiri07eva and http://www.livejournal.com/user/kunoichiyumemi

I know, I'm going overboard, but hey! I need an outlet!

I even have two quizilla accounts, under the names KunoichiUmi and MaskedGundam...

Anyway, Class is almost over, so I better go!

My nightmares just got worse

OK. I wrote in one of my previos posts that I had a horrible night mare. Well, guess what?

They just got worse.

Now, not only am I surrounded by my friends and family's bloody corpses, I see myself holding a bloody katana. I know the blood belong to the people on the ground, and the skin is flaking off my hands. My blood is black, and the area over my heart is black and rotting.

Does this mean that I am the one to blame for the horrors to come?

I hope not.

I know I hold people at arms length most of the time, but those whom I care for... When I care, I CARE.

Please let this be a warning and not a vision of what is to come...

I am scared...

What is MIR?

MIR is an entity which is around us at all times. MIR is a single entity, eternal and indestructable.

When we breathe, we inhale and exhale MIR. When we eat or drink, we consume MIR. Our material possessions and our sentinence is MIR. MIR is the gift of intellegance, the gift of choice, to choice our path in life, and to choose to exist in a world of conversation, or to choose not to exist in a world without conversation, in a path to the void.

Long ago, all objects and beings were one, and MIR was the source of the void. MIR manifested itself as the stars, which birthed the universe, and brought into the world beasts, plants, and minerals. With the birth of all things living, came also the birth of thought and intelligence. Mankind was born.

MIR is grafted into the very essence of our beings, and with MIR, comes the knowledge of existence and non-existence. MIR is life and choice. MIR is death and void.

MIR sustains life, and destroys it. At all times, we strive to become one with MIR. We may become one with MIR by choosing the path into the void, in which one embraces death. In this choice one loses all semblance of humanity, with neither need, want, nor desire. One who walks the path of the void knows nothing and everything, and they strive to return all things to the void, and they feel nothing, neither pain, nor grief, nor joy, nor sorrow. Those who become one with MIR through the path of the void shed no tears, feel no fear or rage, and are empty and nonexistant. They do not exist, and simply are. They know nothing of pain and experiance.

MIR sustains life and destroys it. At all times, we strive to become one with MIR. We may become one with MIR by choosing the world of conversation, in which one embraces life. In this choice, one gains a heart, and learn pain and experiance. They feel need, desire, want, loneliness, anger, hatred, joy, sorrow, grief, and shed tears. Those who walk the path into a world of conversation knows MIR, yet they do not know it. They experience MIR to the fullest extent, and do not know it. They learn and make mistakes. They perservere, and desire nothing more than to exist, to know pain and experience, to bring things into the world, and live before returning to the void.

MIR is a single entity which surrounds us at all times. MIR simply is, and is neither benevolent or malevolent. MIR is intent and choice. MIR is life and death. MIR is pain and experience. MIR is existence and void. MIR sustains life and destroys it. Mir is a single entity that existed long before time, and will continue to exist. MIR is the potential for life and the potential for death. Mir is a single entity that surrounds us at all time. Mir is eternal and indestructible. Mir is grafted into the very essence of our beings. At all times, we strive to become one with MIR, and are at all times one with MIR.

MIR is a single entity that surrounds us at all times. MIR is potential, eternal and indestructable.

A Foreshaadowing of Things to Come or is it Something Else?

I had a nightmare last night, and everytime I don't have something to do to, I see the corpes of my family and friends, lying in pools of blood, their skin pasty white with maggots and flies swarming over them, staring at me with blank glassy eyes. An ourouboros was hovering over them, and a circle of water was behind the ourouboros.

I don't know what brought that about, but I do know that something bad is going to happen soon. I don't dream often, and a nightmare is even more rare, and the few times I do dream, they are warnings.

I don't know why I had this dream. Why did the entity of MIR give me such a dream? Is what will be coming ahead so horrible that destiny and fate sees fit to warn me? I can't be sure. I have a horrible forbidding feeling...

I even woke up to find a spider on the wall above my bed. Another omen, a bad omen, and one that I cannot decipher.

In my dreams, I see what was, what might have been, what may be, what will be, and what IS. I can't know what I am being warned about, all I know is that it is a warning...

I hate to say it, but I am scared. I am completely terrified that what I have dreamed may come to pass. Illogical, yes, but when I dream, it's a warning or a foreshadowing. I am frightened...

To make things worse, I couldn't go back to sleep, which meant that when I dozed off in my classes, I saw the images of my nightmares. I couoldn't concentrate, and simply walking through the halls were torture, since every time I spoke with my friends, I see them as I saw them in my dream.

I am frightened. I know I will not have any sleep tonight, and I will not sleep well for many nights to come.

22 more days... lalalalala....

Giggles... 22 more day till christmas! I wonder what I'll get.

I hope it's books by Susan R Matthews...

I really want to read Prisoner of conscience, Hour of Judgement, and Exchange of hostages...

I hear that they're really good books, and the exerpts I've read aint half bad either...

If not, I'd love to get Sherwood Smith's Crown Duel and Court Duel... I loved the story when I borrowed the book from the library last year. Unfortunately, since the Bruggermeyer moved to Monterey Pass Road while the library is under constrution, over half of the books are in storage, so I really have no way to access it. I could always order it, but I don't think my parents would be extremely happy that I spent the money on something other than school books.

I will need that money for my schoolbooks next year, after all.

If there is any college that will take me, I hope to god that it is the Dominican in San Rafael or the Academy of Art in San Fransico. I wouldn't mind it if USC took me either....

I hate being a Senior. There's so much to do and so little time!

Time sure moves quickly, doesn't it?

It is December at long last!

Christmas is almost here! just a few more days!

Any way, I have a lot of homework, so I'll see ya all later!