Fountain Eterna

Floaty, Floaty

2012-02-06T10:25:00.000-08:00

So yesterday Mom dropped a ring down the sink. So Grandfather called someone to help us pull it out, and the ring wasn't there. Turns out, she lost the ring in question MONTHS ago. --rolls eyes-- So today Grandfather called the guy back because the pipe was leaking. Just my luck that I am still home. Why? Because I have to watch the house to make sure nothing untoward happens.

This is torture be cause the guy apparently is a smoker and the smoke smell is so strong I can smell it from down the hall, and to make things worse, I'm right next to a window.

An Expansion on an Old Plot Bunny

2012-01-31T17:00:00.000-08:00

<b>A little expansion on an old plot bunny with a twist:</b>

A solitary figure, hooded and cloaked, carried a box through the mausoleum, past shelf after shelf of blankly staring human skulls.

"Who is that? Who is carrying me? I demand to know!" a voice demanded angrily from the box. "I'm a head. I have rights. I want my doors open this time."

The cloaked figure set the box onto a plinth.

"I demand that my door is open!"

The figure slid open the box with a swift gesture to reveal a bald blue head. Wordlessly, the figure turned and walked away.

"Is it you? It is you isn't it?" the disembodied head asked. The figure paused and slowly shuffled around to partially face the head. "It is you! I can sense it! How did you do it? How could you have possibly escaped!"

The figure dropped the cape to reveal a youngish man with floppy brown hair and green eyes clad in a distinctive tweed jacket with a blue bowtie. He turned and smirked at the befuddled head.

"The Teselecta. The Doctor in a Doctor suit," he sounded unmistakably smug as he strode toward the disembodied head on a plinth. "Time said I had to be on that beach, so I dressed for the occasion. Barely got singed in that boat."

"So you're really going to do this? Let them all think you're dead."

"It's the only way. Then they can all forget me. I got too big, Dorium, too noisy. It's time to step back in to the shadows."

"And Doctor Song? Imprisoned all her days?"

"Her days, yes," the Doctor agreed, "As for her nights, well," his lips twitched into a suggestive smile, "that's between her and me, isn't it?"

Dorium chuckled. "So many secrets, Doctor, of course, I'll help you keep them."

"Well, you're not exactly going anywhere are you?"

"But you're a fool nonetheless," Dorium's voice shifted from amused camaraderie to rebuking in seconds, "It's all still waiting for you, The Fields of Trenzalore, the Fall of the Eleventh, and the Question."

The Doctor smiled and mock saluted the head in a box, "Goodbye, Dorium." He turned and strode away without looking back.

"The first question: the question that must never be answered: hidden in plain sight!" Dorium's voice rose as the Doctor got farther and farther away, "The question you've been running from all your life!"

That line wiped any hint of geniality from the Doctor's face as he increased his pace slightly.

"Doctor who?"

The Doctor paused in front of his TARDIS and turned to look back, lifting his head slowly.

"Doctor who?" Dorium called.

Unseen by the head, a corner of the Doctor's lips lifted in a wry, cold smirk.

"Doctor WHO!?"

---

The young man jerked awake, sitting up with a gasp. He stared blankly at the poster covered walls in front of him for a moment before turning slightly and taking in the entire dormitory and his roommate curled up under the covers in the bed on the other side of the room. The room was silent but for the ticking of a clock and the soft, whuffling snores of his roommate.

He turned and pulled open a drawer in the bedside table and drew out a small silver pocketwatch engraved in an elaborate pattern and concentric circles. He held it gently in his right hand, gently thumbing the catch, but applying no pressure. He could hear a faint whispering from the watch, and the weight and warmth of ages oozing from the aged metal. The young man known as Samuel James Witwicky twisted in his bed and reached under his pillow to pull out a cylindrical object seemingly made of brass topped by a green bulb in silver brackets. He aimed it at one of the three desktop computers and pressed a button, and the green bulb flashed to life with a low whining buzz, and the computer monitor lit up. He stopped pressing the button, and the light and buzzing ceased, and Sam smiled a slow, secretive smile, one reminiscent of a floppy haired man with a love for tweed a bowties whom many thought to have died not too long ago on the shores of a lake in Utah.

Concentric Chapter 3: Currents, a doctor who fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2012-01-31T13:39:00.000-08:00

Concentric Chapter 3: Currents, a doctor who fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Something that I'm reading and felt I should put up if only to better come back to it later.

Interesting thought

2012-01-30T20:42:00.000-08:00

I'm not a dedicated drinker. Nor do I make a habit of drinking often, but of late, I do seem to be drinking more regularly. Heh. Nothing like a bit of wine or sake to get the creative juices flowing. Of course, what I write while under the influence is rarely ever the most coherent thing in the universe, which is interesting, because what in the name of sanity does a H-Neutrino Loop have to do with Cascading Causality and what in the name of Gallifrey is an H-Neutrino Loop and why does it react negatively when attached to a Hyper Esther Coil? In fact, if I knew what an H-Neutrino Loop is, or a Hyper Esther Coil and what on Earth is Cascading Causality, I don't know them now. Don't you just love what alcohol does to a person?

Oops

2012-01-30T16:54:00.001-08:00

Went to the library today, then Kendrick dropped by and we went to Barnes&Noble and BevMo. Now I am feeling a tad dizzy. gonna go have a lie down.

Ok, Here's a Question, Just One...

2012-01-23T17:51:00.000-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year all.

Ok, so here's what happened today. I'm sitting with a classmate in the library and considering our respective majors, and the links to various medical fields, it's perfectly normal for us to get talking about stuff that connects our respective majors. In the case of today's conversation, mental disorders and how to treat them. So then out of nowhere, we get blind sided by this HUGE woman, and when I say huge, I mean that she was, like, jiggly in places that shouldn't be jiggly and would probably get stuck in the door if the paint was any thicker, huge. And so she was yelling at us about discriminating against people with mental disorders.

So here is the question of the hour: How exactly does a would-be pharmacist and a future psychologist discussing a medical condition become discrimination?

Sadness

2012-01-21T16:32:00.000-08:00

So as it turns out, MegaVideo was shut down. Now how will I watch Doctor Who and Secret Diary of a Call Girl? I mean, Youtube can only go so far, you know? I mean, I can use Wikipedia and watch the snippets and get general idea of what's going on, but that's no replacement for being able to watch the entire video. Well still, I guess I can live with this. Not like I haven't done it be fore.

Just a Thought

2012-01-17T20:57:00.000-08:00

I just realized that I was much more regular in my posting back in High School and the early days of college, even if it was all mostly complaining about my day. Yeah, I've been going through back posts. XD

There was even a point where this blog was being used for schoolwork, can you believe it?

Wow. XD I really was a dedicated blogger way back when wasn't I?

Doctor Who Fic: Forever (10.5/Rose/11)

2012-01-17T20:01:00.000-08:00

Title: Forever
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters and concepts of Doctor Who belongs to all affiliated creators and producers and distributors. I make no money off this work of fiction.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Mentions of 10/Rose/10.5 and 10.5/Rose/11
Summary: The last stop of the Doctor's Farewell Tour before Lake Silencio is a place he knows he's better off staying away from.

~*~

It was a dangerous thing to do, going back to a time when the universe was so unstable and forcing open a crack in space and time. Still, it was his Farewell Tour, his LAST farewell tour, and surely he couldn't be expected to settle for a Rose who couldn't recognize him because she's yet to meet him, or a Rose who knew him but couldn't be allowed to know him for fear of the timelines collapsing.

It's stupid and dangerous and his hearts are pounding, pounding and drumming so hard against his ribs that he thinks it's a miracle that they haven't burst out of his chest in a shower of blood, bone and gore. Still, it's quiet in the facility, and he knows he only has so much time. Knowing how his former regeneration thought, with a bit of leeway to compensate for what the metacrisis clone would have gotten from Donna, he'd planned the coming conversation to the last chronom. But it didn't mean he had much time to spare.

He checked the perception filter before slipping the cord over his head and tucking the rose shaped pendant under his collar, out of sight. He scanned the Vortex Manipulator, borrowed from Jack Harkness for this one visit, with his sonic screwdriver to ensure that everything was working as it should. He checked the device that he'd rigged to keep the crack open until his return (Couldn't risk being trapped on the other side, who knows what would happen?), and took a step back. He pointed the Sonic Screwdriver and turned it on. The crack groaned and slammed open and he lept forward, flipping switches and pressing buttons, and the device hummed to life as the crack opened a bit wider before settling. The pale light spilling though the Rift dimmed and vanished to reveal an empty room on the other side.

The Doctor took a deep breath, adjusted his bowtie, tugged his jacket to settle properly on his shoulders, and stepped through the Rift.

~*~

It hurt, being left behind. After all that work put into finding him, he just dropped her back off in Bad Wolf Bay in the parallel universe with a clone of himself. It didn't matter that the clone, now called John Noble, had all the memories of the original and loved her just as much as the original. He just wasn't him. It was supposed to be Rose and the Doctor in the Tardis, forever, not Rose and the Clone and the new Tardis. She hated it. Hated it.

Still, for the sake of her mum and Pete, because the Doctor was right the first time round. Pete was not her dad, no matter that he accepted her as his. For her Mum and little Tony and Pete, who she'd come to love like a doting uncle, and for John, whom she had come to love as a friend, she pretended to be madly and wholly in love. She pretended to be happy. But she wasn't. She wasn't.

She understood why he'd done it. She and John had talked about it, and while she wasn't angry about it any more, she still didn't like it.

Still. It was doubly hard, because everything was changing all around her, and she was not. Even John was changing, and she knew that if this kept up, they would come to hate each other, and the thought of hating any aspect of the Doctor frightened her. She wasn't happy. She'd never be happy unless she was with her Doctor again.

~*~

She didn't accept him. She didn't love him, not in the way hewanted her to. But Rose was right in this much, John Noble was only a copy of the Doctor. He has equal amounts of Donna Noble and the Doctor in him. This means that sometimes he's ruder and more emotional than the Doctor ever allowed himself to be, but sees and understands more than Donna ever wanted to. This means that the love he had for Rose was shifting. It wasn't the intense all devouring love he'd felt back before the split, it was changing into something softer, more tender, more platonic.

Still, he loves Rose, he wants her to be happy, (really happy, not this terrible pretending that would eventually break her, but a true, soul deep happy that she's only ever been with the Doctor) the only thing he'd brought with him away from the Doctor, the only thing that was constant in his ever changing life was Rose, and how much he loved her. It didn't matter that it wasn't the all consuming love from the beginning, it was still love. So he'd find a way to send her back. Send her to himself, the original Doctor, and let her have her forever with him, especially now that she could give it to him.

Because in the end, much as he loved her, he was becoming tired of being second best. It was only a matter of time before that niggling disquiet became resentment and hate, and the last thing he wanted was to hate Rose.

Cracks were appearing in the skin of the universe, and he'd find a way to use them to send her back to the Doctor.

This way, he'd stay here, he'd miss her, but he would still love her. Rose would be happy. He'd keep loving her with a bittersweet love, because she was far too good and sweet a person to be hated. And he loved her so very much that the thought that one day he'd come to resent her, and she him, scared him witless.

~*~

The Estate was dark and quiet. It was to be expected considering the time. He didn't walk right in. He was a bit reckless but he wasn't stupid and he didn't look like he had in the last incarnation. The household security was like as not to shoot him on sight if he tried. That's where Jack's Vortex Manipulator came into play. He pressed several buttons, and vanished in a crackle of light and electricity.

~*~

He'd sensed him almost as soon as he'd arrived, the soft brush of a Time Lord mind against his. The Doctor had come. It was why, despite the late hour, he was still awake. There was a crackle of light and electricity John smiled at the young looking man with green eyes with floppy hair and dressed in tweed with red bracers and blue bow-tie who appeared in front of him.

"Look at you!" John said cheerily, "Just look at you! You've changed!" He leaned forward and said in mock-astonished tones, "You've gotten younger!"

The Doctor smiled wryly, "And you've changed also. Age seems to be treating you well."

"Yeah? To be expected, right? Ten years and all..." John rubbed his sideburns, which had started to grey. "So..."

"I thought you'd want to know, since the timelines have since diverged," the Doctor murmured, "I encountered River Song again."

"Oh."

The door into the study opened slightly and in the reflection on the window, there was a flash of pink and gold at the door. The two versions of the Doctor ignored it.

"Did you ever find out who she was to us?"

"Yes."

The Doctor sat down in one of the armchairs by the fire, and the Human Doctor leaned forward as the Doctor told him everything, from wiping Donna's memories to save her to the discovery of who River Song was. It was a bit odd, telling someone who was essentially himself what had happened. But it felt good. He was glad to be able to speak to another Time Lord who understood. Their timelines and memories had diverged enough that they were quintessentially two separate people. It felt nice to be able to talk to someone who wouldn't judge his choices, who understood the reasoning behind them, who recognized how the ramifications of those choices followed him. It was nice to just talk.

"The daughter of your companions huh? Domestic." John joked weakly.

He knew that there was more that the Doctor wasn't telling him.

"I'd always known I'd take her to Daryllium one day," the Doctor confessed, "I never thought it would end quite like this though."

"Doctor?"

The Doctor raised sad green eyes to meet the brown of his clone, "Last night I took River Song to the Singing Towers of Daryllium. Today, it is the Twenty-Second of April in the year 2011 and it is currently 5:02 AM. In twelve hours time, on the shores of Lake Silencio in Utah, at the hands of my wife, (John's eye's widened, "What?" he cried. The Doctor continued as if nothing had happened.) I die."

"What?!"

"Permanent death this time."

"WHAT?!"

"NO!"

The door swung open with a crash and the two men twisted in their chairs to stare at the woman in the doorway.

"Rose!" the two Doctors cried.

"Doctor... You can't!"

Both men cringed. Tears were streaming down her cheeks again. The location was different, the circumstances were different, but oh, so many things were the same. Rose, their precious, beautiful Rose, was crying again, all because of the Doctor who was, once again, saying goodbye.

"I have to Rose," the Doctor said sadly, "It's a fixed event."

"But you can't!"

"I have to."

"Not really," John mused, "It just has to look like you died."

"Easier said than done."

"It would be easy I think," John said softly, "Get a Teselecta or a Ganger and send them in your place." He paused. "Maybe not a Ganger. You'll want a corpse that won't de-constitute itself after the first shot. A Teselecta or a Clone may be the best choice then, since River likely knows to burn the body when a Time Lord dies."

The Doctor studied John and said softly, "'Demons Run when a good man goes to war/Night will fall and drown the sun/When a good man goes to war/Friendship dies and true love lies/Night will fall and the dark will rise/When a good man goes to war/Demons run, but count the cost/The battle's won but the child is lost.'

I'd never risen higher, but likewise, I'd never fallen lower. I've become too big, too noisy. The word 'Doctor' means wise man and healer, a word that the universe got from us. If I continue as I have, then what will I become? Already the name 'Doctor' has begun to warp. Did you know, in the Gamma Forests, the word Doctor means 'Great Warrior'? This can't continue, and if I have to die to step back into the shadows, then..." he hesitated briefly, "then so be it."

John looked sad as he shrugged, "It's your life, I suppose. We don't have much in the way of how you live or die." He gave the Doctor a penetrating look before saying, "But you should consider this, what will Rose do after I die?"

The Doctor looked confused, "What?" A hint of his tenth self leaked into the question, which made Rose give him a teary smile. He felt his hearts twist.

"Ten years, Doctor. It's been ten years since we last saw you," Rose whispered, "John changes, Mum changed, Pete changed, even Tony is all grown up, but look at me. Ten years and I'm still the same. I'm still the same while the world changes around me."

"Oh, Rose..." the Doctor stood up and pulled Rose into his embrace. She clung to the lapels of his tweed overcoat as if her life depended on it, her tears soaking into his collar. "I didn't know," he whispered into her hair, "If I'd known..." The Doctor swallowed hard and murmured, "All I wanted was for you to be safe and happy, I thought if you had something of myself to hold on to..." his voice cracked, "but all I've done is hurt you. I'm so sorry, Rose..."

"Take her with you when you go," John said firmly, "You've taken River to Daryllium, you know what's next. And Rose needs you." He smiled wryly, "Besides, now you can have the forever she promised you."

"But what about you?"

"I'll be fine." John smiled, "I got a gift, a wonderful, irreplacable gift. For ten years, I got to have domestic with a good woman who tried for love of us both. I'll hold the shared time close to my heart and move on. Exactly like a human would."

The Doctor looked between Rose and John and nodded. "I'll be without a wife soon anyway," he said softly, "It'll be good to have a friendly face on the Tardis."

Rose gave the two a watery smile. "I'll go pack my bag. Oh, and I'll have to call mum and Pete."

"Write them a note," John suggested, "I'll deliver it in the morning."

~*~

Finite

Quoth the Raven, Nevermore Chapter 23: Deep Into That Darkness, a harry potter fanfic - FanFiction.Net

2011-12-14T18:20:00.000-08:00

Quoth the Raven, Nevermore Chapter 23: Deep Into That Darkness, a harry potter fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Plot Bunnies vs Time Lords

2011-12-11T20:25:00.001-08:00

Who wins?Seriously, in a war between plot bunnies and time lords, who wins?Because Plot Bunnies are a lot like Time Lords. You kill one off, and then it regenerates into a new one, and you know what? It's stronger and more cunning.So, Time Lords or Plot Bunnies.Who wins?

2011-12-10T16:33:00.001-08:00

I want to see if this works here also.

For once....

2011-12-07T14:20:00.001-08:00

I am completely at a loss for words. No really.

Never You Mind...

2011-12-02T12:47:00.000-08:00

I'm on my new laptop, hanging out in Kendrick's Internet.

^^ His router is all dusty and shit. When was the last time he dusted the damn thing? My hand is all gritty and dusty.

We'll go out for lunch in a bit.

I will be as sarcastic as I like Dammit!

2011-11-30T18:24:00.001-08:00

Oh Rapturous Joy. It's cold out. I (kinda) skipped lunch. I had only one bottle of water to tide me over since 11:00 AM this morning. So. What caused my newest headache?

On to other things. Killing time till dinner time 'cuz mom's still cooking. I'd help out, but mom don't need me. Not unless she needs to fetch and carry, but then she has Uncle Ken and Uncle Tony for that, so rather than sit around like a lump, I decided to come home for half hour or so and give my blogs a good workout.

My friend S.Witsfire asked me to draw her an OC for her Transformers story, so I decided to give it a try. Note that I'm not the best at drawing robots, but I gave it a try anyway. Here's S.Witsfire's OC, Failsafe.

Well slag....

2011-11-30T00:58:00.000-08:00

I'm still awake and my new laptop is actually getting something of a work out. I am going to have to exercise self control today and tomorrow and use my old laptop like I did before I decided to break in my new mac. That and pick up a mouse so I don't wear out the track pad.

There is Power in Words....

2011-11-29T18:40:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe that I forgot about this blog. I really can't. Words have power, and these are mine. It's practically criminal that I should have ever forgotten about any of my blogs. How much of my feelings and old plot bunnies are floating around in cyberspace, forgotten, neglected, lost? I will make every effort to find them, and either update them or remove them.

I'm Still alive!!!!!

2011-11-28T23:41:00.000-08:00

I'm awake, I'm Alive, and I'm here to post a plot bunny. I'd have done this sooner, but I hadn't realized that my google account would get me in here on my new laptop. Additionally, I'd also completely forgotten about this blog... ^^;;;; My bad....

~*~

HERE BE THE BUNNY

~*~

Blue optics scanned the immediate area as sensors swept over the distance, trying to find the enemy. The pilot of the massive mechanical wolf studied the three monitors, ignoring the weight of the safety restraints from habit. The faintest sounds of mechanical whirrs was a constant backdrop as were the quiet clack of gears and the shifting of hidden ammunition cases.

There!

A small blip appeared briefly on the screen of the left monitor, on which was a rough topographic map of the battlefield. He folded his hands in his lap, serenely ignoring the controls that shifted minutely as the limited AI maintained the Mechanical Combat Unit's balance.

"Duran," he said, "Load Iron Cartridge into Shoulder Varigun Rifles."

Outside and above him, the twin varigun rifles cocked as they loaded and primed themselves.

He watched the screen closely and the blip appeared once again, marginally closer, before vanishing once again. He placed his hands on a keyboard and began typing rapidly. There was a soft beep as a target lock appeared on a blob of reds and yellows which stood out against the background of blues and violets on the right monitor. The teen smiled.

"Duran, fire Shoulder Varigun Rifles."

The cockpit jerked slightly from the recoil and the teen's ears were full of the muffled explosions from the firing guns. The center monitor showed a slight ripple of.. of what? And the smoke obscured everything. The pilot cursed and laid his hands on normally ignored controls.

"Duran, fire helm mounted Laser Turrets. Fire hip mounted Flechette Turrets."

The massive mechanical wolf threw it's head up with a long mournful howl, the inertia dampners and the circulator axels the only things keeping the pilot from feeling the movement. Then the wolf stalked forward with surprising silence, speed and grace for a two story mechanical creature on four legs and the laser turrets mounted on both sides of the head just below the ears turned and began firing into the smoke. The hip turrets, shifted, turning to face forward instead of back and began firing also, and kicking up more dust, and revealing the location of the enemy by the sparks that resulted when the flechettes bounced off armor or imbedded itself in vulnerable unarmored spots.

"Found you," he murmured, brown eyes fixed on the center screen, where plumes of smoke and dust flowed at an angle from the rest due to the obstruction posed by the enemy unit. "Duran, prime Triple Barrel Cannon and load Silver Cartridge into Shoulder Mounted Varigun Rifles."

The rifles clacked and clunked as the used cartridge was ejected and the new one loaded. there was a low, deep hum as the cannon mounted on the wolf's belly began to glow with energy. The speaker bleeped as the targeting systems announced successful target lock.

"Hip Turrets and Helm Lasers cease fire. Fire Varigun Rifles and Triple Barrel Cannon."

The hip turrets and lasers ceased firing, and seconds later, the shoulder mounted rifles and the belly mounted cannons began a barrage on the enemy. Mere seconds after the garage began, the invisibility on the enemy unit faded, and a large red cat with a back mounted rifle collapsed.

Immediately, a horn sounded. The barrage stopped.

"The battle is over! The battle is over! The winner is: The Orion Team!"

The announcement from the judge baled through the speakers and the teenager smirked.

"And that's how you moderate your artillery," he said smugly.

"Yeah, yeah, don't get too smug, boy," a gravely voice came out of the communications unit, "I still have millennia on you. I can take down your silly wolf with one shot from my cannons."

"You have to admit though, Ironhide, that I wasn't too bad," the boy laughed.

"You went easy on him," Ironhide griped, "Don't do it if there's a Decepticon nearby."

"And have Bumblebee sulk at me if I get killed? No way! I know better than that!"

"That is good to hear, Samuel Witwicky, now get your squishy aft over here so I can see what damage your Unit has done to you this time."

"Roger that, Ratchet," Sam grinned at the communications unit, "Sam Witwicky, falling back now."

And the mechanical wolf turned and ponderously loped toward a cliff several miles behind him, on which a flotilla of five flashy vehicles waited for him.

~*~

TBC

~*~

Cookies to anyone who can figure out what was crossed out here! And yes, looking at the tags on this post counts as cheating.

and yet another announcement

2008-03-14T19:47:00.001-07:00

I have two, no, three things to say.

First, my muses have run away, and so I am left with no inspiration. Therefore, for the time being, any art to be uploaded will go in the scraps section, and fanfictions will be on temporary hiatus. As such expect less than stellar work until I can convince my muses to return.

Second, I have just realized that my recently born cousin's full name is Michael Kendrick Kwok. XD Hey, DK, you're famous! XDXD

Third, I am contemplating withdrawing from PCC to attend ELAC. I have too many former friends attending PCC right now, and I'm spending more time trying to avoid them while I'm within a two block radius than actually concentrating on my work. The campus is beautiful and I will be sorry to leave it, but I do not think I can stand attending school with these people even though the chances of us running into each other is extremely slim at best.

Well, that's it for today.

life as usual... or not

2008-03-06T10:51:00.000-08:00

Hungry~!!!!!!
Dk is coming to hang out with me today, so I can endure it, as long as he pays for the food. =^w^= I'm such a cheap ass bitch aren't I?
Well, whatever. Anyway, no progress in the job search. Still waiting for Pink Berry to call me back, but I'm contemplating the Love Birds Bakery and Cafe down the street from the school, or even worse, flipping burgers at MickeyD's. Well, if it comes to that, then I won't complain. At least I'd have a job, right?
Anyway, I was coming to school, and then I realized that I had forgotten to bring the mineral set I checked out yesterday. I contemplated bringing it tomorrow to return, but for every day that the set is, late, we get charged $20. $20!!!!! That's over kill! I don't HAVE $20!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, basically, I skipped class to go home to pick it up and bring it back to return. Of course, I realized that I had left my bus pass in my folder yesterday, and that folder I tend not to bring with me on Tuesdays and Thursdays since I don't really need it. Fortunately, I had $2.50 on me, so I could take the bus home. Thank god for the pass. Without it, I'd have paid $5.00 in total just today. Of course, If DK shows up, I might just end up spending my last five dollars, but that's ok. I'm spending time with friends after all.So he should get here at about 11:00, and at about that time, I'll go down and pick up a new mineral set so I can do my lab and study for the test.

complicated

2008-02-09T11:00:00.001-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year everybody!!!

This new year, I'm getting less than I've gotten in the past two years. I suppose it's because my family is assuming that I have or am about to get a part time job. It's my own fault of course, I'm now 19 and in college, and I keep saying that I'm looking for a part time job even though I have yet to drag myself out of the house to do so.

----------------------------------------------------

For me, school is fine, I'm scraping by and clinging to my academics with all ten of my ffingers and toes even though the rock face that is school is cutting them to the bone. The stress is awful, but I'm hanging in there, I have the support of all my wonderful friends and my precious cousins to keep me afloat. Unfortunately, however, no matter that I'm on the verge of falling off the cliff and plummeting to my doom in failure, I'm still holding on, but I can't really say the same for my friend who is closer to the edge than I am...

M-chan is worrying herself sick. It was her bad luck that she chose a teacher that seemingly has it out for her. She has told me that she might fail the course, and considering the slasher job her teacher does on her paper, I'm not surprised. But as if that wasn't bad enough, she is taking a logic based class, (chemistry) during a six week course. It's tough on her since she's in that class for up to five hours, and her grade is fluctuating badly, so there's some added stress. I can't seem to do anything for her except when we're at school, and even I know that she's emoing when I'm not there.

M-chan! don't do anything stupid kay? All of us (your friends) are here for you!

Let us (your friends and family) be your pillar of support!

Hang in there! only four more days!

last post of the year 2007

2007-12-31T22:55:00.000-08:00

only and hour and ten minutes left till the year is officially over....

And at the same time, there is only one week left till classes start up again.

This year has been an interesting year, what with the birth of three new cousins, and rediscovering an old friend (two if you want to be precise, and many chance encounters with many wonderful people. Life moves ever onward, and despite all the bumps and trials in this past year, I am ready to start anew as a new woman, and start actually acting my age. Not that it means I'll give up writing and reading fanfics, or drawing my comics and fanart. I don't think I'll survive if I didn't have something to do during my free time. XD

My New Years Resolution is to do better in my classes than I have thus far. I no longer want to scrape a pass grade by the skin of my teeth, so I must work harder in my classes (and outside of it) so I can get my financial aid. Then I will get off my ass and look for a part time job like I keep saying I will, so I won't always have to hit up mother for cash.

Well, Happy New Years people.

Works Progress and Melodrama

2007-12-14T20:22:00.000-08:00

The following are the pictures that I am currently working on:

The Genshi Miko: 10% Complete

Konoha Advent: Nadil and Caine: 15% Complete

White Mage Tales: 15% Complete

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following is a list of all stories, complete and incomplete, archived in Fanfiction.net under the penname Sanada Sayuri:

Mended Hearts: 100% Complete

Parallel: 100% Complete

Parallel Surreality to Parallel Continuity: 13% Complete ---> Chapter 14: 24% Complete

Parallel Eternity: 1% Complete ---> Chapter 2: 10% Complete

Soundscape: 45% Complete ---> Chapter 31: 85% Complete

Konoha Advent: 3% Complete ---> Chapter 4: 12% Complete

Angel of Death: 25% Complete ---> Chapter 8: 20% Complete

Angel of Death II: 15% Complete ---> Chapter 7: 90% Complete

Angel of Death Parallel Surrealism: 2% Complete ---> Chapter 3: Pending

Tennis in the Azure: 9% Complete ---> Chapter 11: Pending

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that's just how it is. ;)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh. my. god.

For an old man, my grandfather has more mood swings than a pregnant woman.

One minute, he's screaming his head off at me and mom because the city sent him a warning about his poor upkeep of the property that he owns, because my mom and I make less money than the rest of out relatives, so somehow, it's our fault that the trees are overgrown and there is way too many plants, and the drive is cracked with overgrown vegetation, and it's our fault that my room leaks, and the house is colder than the inside of a freezer. Well, excuse us! Mom works full time, and I'm a student looking for a job! Not to mention, the house was fine until the old geezer decides to renovate it, which is the cause of all of today's problems! Our bathroom used to be nice and big and roomy, and we used to have a back patio where I used to play as a little girl on the nice days.

Then he's a desperate child asking to use our restroom because the restrooms in the front house are all in use.

So once he's no longer dependant on our facilities, he begins to critisize how we keep house. Well excuse us! Tiled walls and floors are way more difficult to keep clean than normal painted drywall walls and good old fashioned carpet! Why? Because you have to clean tile floors and walls more often you overaged moron! And also, the guys that he hired? lazy as hell! They never showed up until noon, and left well before the sun set! well, of course they would also do a shoddy job wouldn't they? Shit, their work is the reason why that AC vent in my room leaks, irregardless of whether or not it's raining!

Geez! Fucking ass, that's what that man is.

lif in general

2007-11-30T21:58:00.001-08:00

I shoulda wrote about this earlier this week when I first found out, but I guess I'm been busy trying to wrap my head around what happened.

Something has happened! I'm pretty sure a friendship that has, for me, dulled and become an annoyance of sorts, has been irreparably broken. I should be weepy and begging forgiveness, but oddly, I hardly feel anything. In fact, I feel lighter... As if an enormous burden has just been lifted off my shoulders. Maybe I was just deluding myself into thinking it was friendship when it was simply me taking advantage of the nearest available human resource.

Heh, I never thought that the weight on my shoulders might have been because the resource was getting troublesome. It's probably also because the resource developed feelings for me when I felt nothing for it but mild annoyance. I admit I was getting worried about it. I had been wondering how to resolve this dilemma with the minimum trouble, but the resource has done the work for me.

Granted that it leaves me in a bit of a pinch, since mother fell ill recently, and will be staying home to rest, so she won't be driving me to school, which leaves be with a slight problem, but that little problem has been, I hope, resolved. Some one I consider a [u][b]true[/b][/u] friend has promised to speak with her mother about it, and I do hope that I will get a ride, or else I will have to find an alternative route home. If I have to take the bus, I'll talk mother into giving me the money neccessary for a weeklong bus pass, which is about $60 if I buy it from the PCC Student Bank.

Well, whatever.

While I am not pleased about how the problem was resolved, I am not about to grovel for foregiveness. It's just not the type of person that I am. Why should I ask forgiveness when I hardly feel anything but mild annoyance and faint traces of amusement about it? Either way, I'm perfectly content with how things have come out.

Now if only this dratted cough would just go away....

rawr teh rawrer

2007-11-25T18:58:00.000-08:00

Rawr teh rawrer!

or 10 reasons why I LOATHE my laptop computer

1) The charger is a problem child

2) The batery is a problem child

3) The touchpad is stupid

4) The stupid thing loads too slow

5) There is no table of Contents

6) Stupid automatic updates turn OFF my computer when I don't want the computer to be turned off

7) When the stupid automatic updates thing turns OFF the computer, I can NOT find ANYTHING in my History

8) It's too heavy to carry aroound

9) It does not have enough USB ports

10) It's way too big

AND NO! NOONE MAY HAVE IT BECAUSE I AM USING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

er... wtf?

2007-11-25T16:07:00.000-08:00

like, wtf?

I was searching the net for KakaNaru, when I suddenly noticed how many hits that my own sites had. Like, wha?!

Anyway, as I was searching for KakaNaru, Kendrick's Deviantart site came up as a hit.

WEll, Kendrick? Is there something you want to tell me? --waggles eyebrows--

Frivolous Nonscence

2007-11-11T18:19:00.001-08:00

Bought a set of sheets that turned out to be a bedskirt, so off I went to return it, then somehow got dragged off to payless to look at shoes. Why the hell do so many girls find shopping fun? Shouldn't shopping be buying essentials when (or against the day) you need themand then leave it at that? And why the hell should I buy some MORE shoes when I already have perfectly good ones at home? Why are people so weird?

Females scare me, and that's saying a lot since I'm a girl too.

Why can't more members of my gender be less frivolous?

prayer

2007-10-26T20:47:00.000-07:00

I know I am not the best daughter in the world, and that I sometimes say things I don't mean when I am upset, but I really do love Mama. I would not know what to do without her. Tonight, Mama is coming home later than normal today because of a system crash at the bank. Please, whichever god or saint up there, please overlook my lack of religous piety and protect Mama. Please see Mama home safe and sound.

happy birthday to me

2007-10-01T14:30:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am now nineteen

yay me

2007-09-11T22:15:00.000-07:00

Ouch, its been a while. In anycase, here's an updated, FINALLY.

Ok, I have a little under two weeks before my nineteenth birthday. It's on October the First. As such, I thought that I should do a few things to organize all my work that I've done so far...

------------------------------------------------

So far, the videos related to my Naruto fanfics that have been posted so far number four. They are as follows from oldest to newest:

Posted on:

July 17, 2007 was Nightwing Tales

On August 31, 2007 was Nightwing Tales Revised

On September 3, 2007 was Mended Hearts

September 11, 2007 was Soundscape part 1

Like I said in previous posts, Soundscape is an ongoing story, so obviously, any video about it at this time is incomplete. The same can be said about Parallel and Konoha Advent.

----------------------------------------------------

On to other topics!

Mended Hearts is currently being edited, and anyone interested in the lemon, it is in my mediaminer account. Don't believe what was in the FF.Net post. It's a part of the lemon that's in my xanga. ^^

Konoha Advent will be updated very, very slowly. I would like to have Parallel and Soundscape completed or near completion before I continue with Konoha Advent, but I will add to the story if my muse should bash me over the head with a mallet.

Angel of Death and Angel of Death II are on temporary hiatus until I get inspiration for a oneshot, related or not to the Nightwing Tales Universe.

Tennis in the Azure and Fable are quite obviously on hiatus. I shouldn't even have to say it.

-----------------------------------------------------

I am currently working on four deviations, one for Konoha Advent, and one random picture that I drew. They are the pictures of:

Nadil and Caine from Konoha Advent

The Untitled

The other two are the conclusion for the Soundscape Doujin that I have already posted. The half that has already been posted are:

Soundscape_Godaime's Choice

Soundscape_Godaime's Choice2

-------------------------------------------------------

Thanks to...

deragonmaji and superchaaba and Alexwind for your on going support. Out of all my friends on and off line, you guys commented most often, and I have found that I can always count on you three for inspiration.

Also, I must give thanks to candylover20 for her most recent group of comments. Thanks ever so much for the pick-me-up. XD :hug:

Also, thanks to kerushiinara for the support on the KakaNaru Plushie series. I really appreciate it.

What title?

2007-06-13T17:17:00.000-07:00

Geez Louise, it's hot out there......

I woke up at 9:40 to my phone going off. I had completely forgotten that I had a book to return, and I had asked Alex to pick me up. As such, he took Katie to PCC first cause Katie had to take her final, then he came back for me.

After Katie got out, we went to hang out at the Paseo Colorado, and Alex and I had ice cream at ColdStone and Katie splurged at Bath and Body. We came home around 1;30 to 2:30, with me complaining the entire way of the heat, which (the heat was giving me a headache by the way) was interrupted by bouts of teasing all around. Alex and I dropped off Katie, and we took off to Starbucks, then I got dropped off and Alex went and moseyed on home.

{Why did I even use that word? }

In anycase, I finished off my Grande Iced Green Tea Latte, and took a nap. I woke up about half an hour ago, and wonder of all wonders, my headache has escalated into a full blown migraine. My temples hurt, my eyes are throbbing, and the bridge of my nose feels like its been replaced with a redhot poker. I am enjoying my frozen burrito snack, and my headache seems to be fading, so maybe it's just cause I was hungry. But my eyes still hurt and my temples still throb so maybe not...

Needless to say, I will not be drawing or writing today...

Gonna go turn on the AC now, I'm baking...

Roasted Priscilla anyone?

Yes, kill me now

2007-06-11T16:36:00.001-07:00

Someone kill me now.

I hate finals.

I'm stressed to the breaking point, and Parallel and Soundscape have been updated.

I can't get good internet access unless I'm in the front, and the boys are being stupid and are being perverted and i am getting homicidal.

Dear stupid little idiots,

I may be an Asian girl, but I DO NOT appreciate your stupid, bigoted, and perverted remarks.

I admit that my chest is more of apples than melons, and I'm proud of it. At least my chest and ass doesn't drag me down whenever I bend over.

And by the way, if my ass is smaller than yours, its because I exercise! With that said, fuck off you bitch and go to hell and kiss my ass.

Sincerely,

Me.

Dear Stupid little Cousins (the boys),

I hate you.

I hate you and your stupid little perversions.

I hate you screaming and yelling and being a general pain in the neck.

I hate that you are all childish and that you throw my good will back in my face.

You are idiots and perverts, and I hope you all burn in hell, cause you're all perverts and fools, and the lot of you are spoiled brats and will never amount to anything more than murderers, rapists, and druggies.

Sincerely, me.

A good day, a very good day

2007-05-24T14:02:00.000-07:00

I got kicked out of my own house by my grandfather after he threw the keys to my aunt's car at me with the yell, "Practice parking so you won't give your passengers heart failure!"

I admit it, I give people heart failure when parking. Parallel parking is ok, but I go fast. the other parking is ok too, I just park really really close to another car, and I almost tapped another car when backing. But none of it was my fault!

In anycase, I was thrown out of my house at nine in the morning with the keys to one of my aunts' car, and so for today, I have my own ride! I'm having so much fun!

What? you didn't honestly think that I would actually go to class when I had access to my own method of transportation?

Hell no!

I went to Borders, and Barnes and Noble, and now I'm having lunch in a nice little cafe with internet access. So now I'm going to the Westminster shopping center, and then the Montebello mall, and maybe I'll drop by the library later in the day to take some notes and give the impression that I was actually at school.

I can almost imagine my aunt's reaction when she finds out that grandfather sent me, a new driver out, with her three year old Toyota. She'll freak.

Well, I'm done with lunch, gonna pay the bill, and then I'm off!

I'm having a great day, and I wish the same for everyone else!

Except for the people who I dislike to the point of wishing them to the seventh level of hell.

Dana Ryan Mills, I have not forgotten your past actions. I still know where you live. I will never forgive. Never! I wish you a flaccid cock and and infection in your family jewels. I also hope you burn in hell and are stabbed by a white hot katana for all eternity with the number doubling each time.

PS My decision still stands. My stories remain on temporary hiatus.

I will and and anyone who ruins my good day by bugging me for another update.

Just a random post

2007-05-10T14:40:00.000-07:00

The consequences of the car crash the other Wednesday no. 1: No reliable ride.

Consequence of the car crash the other Wednesday no. 2: Must use money better spent on food on bus rides.

Consequence of the car crash the other Wednesday no. 3: I got sick because of the germs flying around in public transportation.

Consequence of the car crash the other Wednesday no. 4: Because of the use of money for the bus fare, I have little to no money to spare on the necessities, like, oh, I don't now, maybe something like food!

That's right, my little rant from the school library is because I'm hungry and have no more money to buy food.

Now on to other things!

All my stories are still on hiatus due to severe case of writer's block and extreme fatigue from hunger and prolonged illness. Please bear with me until the writer's block has been overcome and I have enough money to buy food, which will provide me with the energy to write despite the exhaustion from prolonged illness.

Thank you all for your patience.

And now, on to happier things!

Watching Prince of Tennis. OMG, in episode 178, I suddenly realized why I stopped watching it after three months of obsession in junior year. The special effects are absolutely overboard.

Well, whatever. I'm gonna go study now...

^_^

2007-05-04T15:01:00.000-07:00

OMG, I was leaving Math 123 for ENGL 900 when Who should walk right past me but three MKHS teacher, one of whom was last year's and possibly this year's AVID teacher as well as MRS. Baca and some other woman that I didn't recognize. I was gonna go up and say hi, but then they looked busy, so I went to meet up with Vina first and I told her, and so we took off to try and intercept MRS. Baca at the Cafeteria since I had a twenty five minute gap before I had to get to class. I didn't think about it until I remembered a bunch of private school kids that I saw there the other day, but may be they went to Mac Donald's for lunch...

In any case, afterward, we gave up and went through the C Building, Vina headed for the Library, and I went to the Third floor of the C building for class, and we met up about forty minutes later in the library at the back. Oh dear... I'm forty minutes late...

Life must go down the crapper

2007-04-20T13:45:00.000-07:00

The one moment I'm coherent to do anything it rains. joy.

Well, back to staring at the computer screen and wondering what else I can squeeze out of my brain for my fanfics...

FF.net is still acting up. My god that site is such a bitch.

---------Edit 1:28 PM---------

My grand father came over, and had me take down the vent in my room. When one of the screws got stuck, he got on the chair and yanked it off, then felt up the vent for a moment, got down and told me to put it back up and that it would be fixed tomorrow.

BAKA Ojiji!

He YANKED the fucking vent off, and tore through the wood, which is SOFT because it is RAINING! So now not only is the vent CROOKED, the screws are LOOSE, and one good tremor will have it falling down on my head.

STUPID OLD MAN!

He even put the fucking screws on my VANITY where all my lotions and creams and JEWELRY are. HE FUCKING PUT FOUR PIECES OF DIRTY IRON ON MY FUCKING VANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh the Fucking Drama

2007-04-04T19:18:00.000-07:00

Er... Yeah... My class was fairly boring today.

In anycase, in the morning, Alex and I picked up Katey, dropped her off, and I got a little Kakashi plushie. Vina told me that if I put my Kakashi plushie with my Naruto Plushie and took a picture of it, I could sorta kinda photoshop it so Naruto is saying "Who's the uke now Biyotch!" and the fact that Kakashi is a little doggie would add to the hilarity. ^^ Then we dropped by the Huntington library, and OMG, its huge. We got lost, and after we were sufficiently awed by the size of the properties in San Marino, we made our merry little way back to school.

I ran into Vina around 1:30 at the library and we giggled over the new artbook she got. It was a collection of art from the creator of Enzai. Suffice to say that we were so into it that we ended up being late for class.

Once I was in class though, I took a little bit of notes, then started doodling and writing random stuff in Hiragana. ^^ I just did that until the end of class.

Afterward however, when Alex and I went to leave, it turned out that his car wouldn't start. So then we started fiddling with it, and some people came to help us, but the car still wouldn't start. As a result, we ended up moving the car out of the parking spot, and when we finished, moved it back into the parking spot. In total, it took over an hour. I only just got back...

Needless to say, I missed the driving instructor's call at 5:00...

Thank god I'm home now. I'm starving and exhausted...

Note to self: Finish up Math Homework and start rough draft for the Nature Paper.

--------------Edit 7:10 PM------------------

Katherine Kwok must die. If she lost her memory stick last summer, she should have said something about, and now she has the gall to blame it all on me. Oh, how convenient that she now has proof that I took it almost six months after she confronted me the first time. Bitch.

My grandfather and grandmother need to learn to keep their fucking opinions to themselves. I am not a thief. If I was, I'd have stripped their house bare a long time ago. God only knows that they gave me plenty of opportunities to do so.

And Mother, my dear sweet bitch who gave me life... SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not a thief and just because youre related to your stupid sister doesn't mean you have the right to blame me for every little fucking thing that goes fucking wrong in your fucking life.

Life in General... XD

2007-04-03T17:03:00.001-07:00

I don't even know what's going on in my life anymore. I have so many stories in the works that I'm considering temporarily shutting down a few in order to concentrate on others. In any case, the internet in my house is so shaky that I keep getting disconnected. So, after the fifth to sixth time, I actually packed up and went over to Grandmom's house, which is where I am now... ^^ For now, lets just say that I'm very tired and simultaneously very bored. Despite all the classes I have, I actually don't have a lot of homework. Well, actually, I have math...

Considering my life, I think maybe it would be best if I planned out my classes for Summer Semester now. Sociology and geology... maybe anthropology or English 1B...

Ok... So now I'm rambling... XD I really am very bored... My cousins are playing computer games... Well, I'm doing the same, playing Dragonfable... In any case, they're talking on the phone, at least Benjiman is, and Nathan is being nosy and generally obnoxious. Sigh... I really need to get a life, or at least a part time job...

Any way, I just got back from class about half an hour ago, and I managed to finish the entire Japanese Exam in hiragana but for one line. ^^ I'm very proud of myself...

I have had about three cups of coffee since I woke up, so I'm kinda hyper... XD I lurve coffee...

Teeheehee XD

2007-03-31T11:52:00.000-07:00

Imagining:

Me: Daddy~! I need to get a new Ipod since mine is all messed up.

Daddy: What~! You've only had that thing for three years!

Me: If you bring in the old one for recycling, it's 10% off, and it'll be cheaper than simply sending it in for repair.

Daddy: Oh, fine. Anything else?

Me: Yeah! I need a T-Mobile Sidekick! I also want a bluetooth headset, a Kakashi plushie so my Naruto plushie won't be so lonely, the three books by Susan R Matthews that you promised you'd buy for me four years ago, a thousand dollars for tuition and random pocket money, and a cherry red convertible.

Daddy: O.o

End Imagining....

XD Heehee ^^

oi... what a day...

2007-03-16T21:37:00.000-07:00

Oi vey... I just finished a very long and taxing day... Quizzes in every class only to come home and get roped into babysitting a bunch of brats.

Well, the math part wasn't too bad. Pop quiz and I only got one problem out of five wrong, and even then it was still a 9 out of 10 since I messed up on the graphing... English 900 is nothing, just a writing lab, but really, just how stupid do they think we are? Who the fuck needs a library usage tutorial? English 1A is a completely different story. We had a quiz because apparently, no one was reading the assignments, and Cowper had us write 5-6 sentences about what we thought the chapter was about. Next thing we know, he's reading them out loud, and then making snide remarks about them. The rought draft for the Mind Paper is due in the next session, in other words, this coming Monday, but he hasn't given us so much as a prompt! How are we supposed to do anything without a prompt?! And he wonders why his English 1A students are doing worse than the English 400 students.

((BTW, English 1A is about critical writing, and students in English 1A are basically students who are qualified to take other college courses because we're supposed to be able to read the other coursework. English 400 is the lowest level of English PCC offers. I don't know what they do in there, learn to write maybe? I don't know, My English is at the 1A level.))

The kids were playing some weird mix of hide-&-seek and catch, and then out of nowhere, Abraham bites Katelyn in the arm. When Katelyn runs off to tell grandfather, grandfather makes Abraham stand next to the windmill in the backyard as punishment and the kid starts crying. Then at dinner, he wants Banh Out and starts crying even though his mom is making it right in front of him... Crybaby anyone?

In all, a very tiring and exhausting day.

Er... yea... Good morning...

2007-03-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

So its any where between 10:30 and 10:35 AM, and I'm still at home. Well, for one thing, It's Faculty Flex Day, whatever that means. In any case, the Campus is closed, so whatever. I have a day off.

I keep looking at the clock and going, "OMG! It's so-and-so o'clock! I'm late!" before remembering that the campus is closed today. Am I absentminded or what? In any case, Uncle Qouc came over and was all, "Come over to the front. No one's there so you can Hang out," which literally translate as "Come over and help me take care of this brat!" cause Elizabeth was here well.

I did try to help out, but she kept crying~! I guess I can't handle babies... Well, I can handle them, but only when they're not crying and stuff. I have snot on my left sleeve cause Elizabeth kept wiping her nose on me.

In anycase, at least out here, I don't have to worry too much about my internet connection cutting me off. Now if I can only get my AIM to boot up and connect...

yea, I also reread some of the posts I had here, and I just keep thinking, OMG~! Was I really so stupid and whiney last year?! But oh well, I suppose everyone is entitled to some stress, and last year was my senior year... ^^; In anycase, I hope my more recent posts don't go along the same lines...

the things I put up with...

2007-03-11T14:16:00.001-07:00

My driving instructor is late... again... Every single time, he's late anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes. It's been over three months and I've had only what? 7 to 8 lessons? Fuck it all!

My mother is racist and sexist.

I get rides from a friend, a MALE friend, and she goes ballistic. She sees the silhouette in the car, and flips and goes off on a spiel about how men are unworthy and stupid, and how if I want to be friends with a male, he has to be Asian, rich, and be a good boy. In other words, any guy with bulk is not a good boy, not Asian, and obviously not rich. Secondly, she goes on about how Mexicans (She includes Hispanics, Chicanos, Latinos, and Filipinos in this as well) are the epitome of evil, how all they want is to get in between a woman's legs, and how that's a bad thing. Then she goes off on a major spiel about how Asians are the superior race, and if I want to have a good future, I must marry one of our own.

Note that through all of this, I am going WTF?!

Alex is a good boy! I've known him for a while, and he's been nothing if not respectful! Hell, I don't intend to ever be in a relationship with the opposite gender or otherwise, so just calm the fricking hell down!

---Edit 4:18 PM---

My instructor finally showed up around 2:50 PM, and we finished around twenty minutes ago... Some stupid idiot stepped on the gas while we were turning onto Atlantic and Garvey, and if I hadn't stepped on the gas, they would have hit us! As it was, I had to cut off some Latino jackass who rolled down his window and screamed at us. Well, excuse me if I didn't want to get hit. And I only missed him (the Latino guy) by two feet. Why is it that every time I'm behind the wheel, near misses take place? If I'm not missing some kid on a tricycle by a few feet or hitting the curb, then I'm almost hit by some jackass who always yells profanities out the window or honks us.

In any case, my cellphone stopped working. Its not that my SIM card is loose, and it's not like it won't turn on or anything. I charged it just last night, so its not like its out of battery or anything. Its just that I cant call out, or receive any calls. Dad is so gonna expect a call from me.

I have my own little suspicions, and if I'm right, I wont be exchanging as many text messages with Alex anytime in the near future.

Random stuff in life

2007-03-05T21:20:00.000-08:00

I updated~! Yeah, I know that the chapters were pretty short, but still~ I updated! In anycase, I have to get to class, so I'm gone. I'll update again later! ^^

---Edit 8:33 PM---

I updated Soundscape just now.

I can see the moon. It's big and golden, and it looks like cheese~! ^^

Ok, back to studying for my japanese quiz.

---Edit 9:20 PM---

What do you do when a random 38 yr old person IMs you and you're too nice to just say "To Hell With You~!" and block them after the first 5 exchanges?

---Edit 9:25 PM---

Ok, what do you do when your father signs on using your brother's SN and starts pelting both you and said random person with questions to which you're not paying much attention because you're studying for a quiz that will take place tomorrow?

...

2007-02-26T19:41:00.001-08:00

My best friend is getting harassed and stalked by an old schoolmate. I can do nothing about since I am now in college, and he's threatened her that if she retaliates, he'll do inappropriate things to her. I know where he lives. He is so dead.

Dana Ryan Mills, you are so going down. No one, and I mean no one sexually harasses my friends and gets away with it. Watch your back bastard.

It has been a very aggravating morning

2006-11-17T08:50:00.000-08:00

It's been a very taxing morning....

Grandfather and I got in a car accident today. Some guy with a black BMW hit the back of the car. Funnily enough, he didn't have his driver's licence or insurance information, so when grandfather insisted on calling the police, the guy ran.

I called the police, was told not to leave the area, and grandfater drives off trying to chase the guy. Then when I tell him not to move, he yells at me and tells me he's not gonna drive me anymore.

Yeah, sure, pick on the college student...

Then when the police show up, I'm explaining stuff, and grandfather was no help, telling me inane things. Come on, I don't work well with authority figures, so we were there for half an hour, just trying to explain to the policeman what we wanted, blahblahblah

Mended Hearts

2006-07-15T01:09:00.000-07:00

Title: Mended Hearts
Author: Yumemi
Rated: PG-13
Summary: AU Naruto hides many secrets from Konohagakure no Sato. As time continues, Naruto’s precious people learn the hard way that many secrets are best left untouched, and that Naruto is not at all what they believed.

My first Naruto fic... Somehow I get the feeling that I'm not going to do very well in the Naruto fandom... But that's probably just me being stupid since I always say the same thinig, but peoplpe keep telling me that I did good. I'm rambling, so I think I'll just go away now...

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I wish I did, but I don’t.

Mended Hearts: Prologue

Euphoria: A Graduation Story

2006-06-18T00:50:00.000-07:00

Euphoria: A Graduation Story

The sun is warm and bright, the skies are a clear azure, the air is filled with the chatter of excitement and the birds are singing merrily while on the field gathers a sea of red robes and caps adorned with red and white tassels and the many different colored chords…

To the dark haired girl, it seemed almost surreal…

Everywhere are the signs of a growing and changing generation, as the graduates lined up and laughed with friends and spoke with teachers. A soft breeze whispered past crimson polyester, whipping the robes around their feet, toying with the tassels and teasing loose hair. Everywhere was joyous cries and sparkling eyes as the exuberant spirits of the graduates soared and thickened the air with nervousness and excitement.

Soft strains of music drifted to expectant ears, and the chattering rose into whoops and cheers as they recognized the graduation song. One by one, they filed out into the stadium, passing under white arches festooned with flora under the light of the setting sun. The expectant expressions of joy and excitement tinged with agitation and more than a little fear and reluctance surrounded her, even as they moved to stand before their seats.

Time passed in a blur of names and applause as the speakers gave their speeches, named members of their clubs and organizations as the named graduates rose to their feet to be recognized. As the two Valadictorians gave their speeches and led the graduates in a cheer to celebrate their successes, she felt a blinding euphoria in her, and a desire for time to stand still at that singular moment, a moment when the entire Graduating Class stood together, yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs, smiles on their faces, mere moments away from true adulthood. All too soon, they were seated and she sat between two good friends, waiting and watching as other members of the class lined up, two rows at a time, one on both sides of the stage as each gradauate stepped forward to accept their awards.

Soon, it was nearly her turn, and she was acutely aware of the mass of bodies at her back. The faces of her audience were flesh colored blurs and her blood was a hot, roaring surge in her ears. She was aware of the cotton of her light sweater against her skin, of the coolness of her pink crystal beads around her neck, of the slight weight of her chandelier earrings in her ears, of the soft leater of her white shoes against her feet, and of the polyester gown covering her knuckles as she clasped her hands in front of her. Her face was frozen in a polite yet nervous smile of excitement, as her mind whirled about in a disorganized jumble of thoughts. She heard, as if from a long distance, her name being called, and in a daze she mounted the steps of the stage. Her surroundings took on a dreamlike quality and she misjudged the number of steps and stumbled as she mounted the stage. Her body shook like a leaf as she shook the Board Member's hand and accepted the cover for her diploma, and as she and the School Board Member turned to face the audience to have their pictures taken, she felt time stand still. Then, the camera flashed and she smiled was once more on the cool grass, the hem of her robes brushing over the plants as she returned to her seat.

She smiled as the ceremony continued, and ran her fingers softly over the imitation leather and the gold lettering spelling out the name of the school. Her eyes prickled, and she resolutely pushed her tears away. Now was not the time to cry. How would she beable to face the cameras if her face was red and tearstained with her eyes red and puffy from crying? Maybe after Grad Night, when it was safe, she would cry. She looked up and squared her shoulders, smiling happily and clapping with sincere joy and excitement as her friends' names were called, and they walked up to collect their own awards.

All too soon, the ceremony drew to a close. She, in her joy of passing a hurdle that her more cynical family members had always claimed she would never pass, threw her hat into the air with a joyful cry, her voice becoming one of many exuberent yells and cheers. She watched as it traveled a graceful arc and landed, and her sight was blocked by joyful friends with whom she joined in an embraced that conveyed a multitude of emotions from congratulations to joy to sadness of being parted after four glorious years of an unpredictable but close friendship. And then she was swept off with the crowd of red as they passed between two rows of teachers on their way to the field behind the stadium to pick up their diplomas, to say their last goodbyes or their last words of friendships, before being swept out onto the front lawn to meet with proud parents and sad underclassmen friends and departing classmates and to take their last pictures in their caps and gowns, with their newest accessory, their diplomas.

Inwardly, she mourned the loss of her cap, knowing that her parents would be upset, but the joy of graduation, and the melencholy of leaving her friends and all that had been familiar, of leaving the school that had become a second home to her, surged to the forefront as she and various friends embraced their former teachers.

"Merrily, merrily, merrily," she thought, smiling as she remembered the old nursery rhyme, "life is but a dream..."

She plunged into the heart of the crowd, and her cap was forgotten for the moment...

THE END

Graduation

2006-06-16T14:04:00.000-07:00

OMG.... I'm graduating in four hours....

I am so FREAKED!!!!!!!!

Leaving high school for college... I am so NERVOUS!!!!!

I AM GRADUATING TODAY!!!!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!

GRADUATION!!!!!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH yeah! Mark Keppel High School Class of 2006, we rock!!!!!

WHOOHOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Graduation in under 4 days

2006-06-13T14:33:00.000-07:00

Seniors start vacation earlier than the rest of the school by a week. So I'm at home right now. Graduation is coming up. I really can't wait. I'm also on the sad side. I'm basically leaving behind my childhood once I cross the stage. I'm going to miss my friends. I don't make friends very easily, and even if I do have people around me, they aren't really my friends until I start talking, like really talking, to them, and no just gossip, but kinda like, certain aspects of my life. My not so great childhood for example...

I would give almost anything for time to stand still where it was before June 9, 2006. It's really sad, because most High School friends tend to drift apart despite the promise to stay in touch. I really miss them, and I've only left school under 4 days ago.

Then again, I'm probably just being silly, cause everyone who leaves High School feels the same way. We're leaving what has been familiar for something totally different. While we were in High School, we were totally dependant on our parents and teachers, and now that we're graduating, we're gonna have to learn to be self sufficient. No one's gonna coddle us anymore, and this is the limit to our parents' support, and our teachers from this point on are hardly going to care whether or not we succeed so long as they get paid. We're gonna be in charge of our lives now, and however much we may have been looking forward to this point in our lives in the past, now that we are here, everything is different. We're frightened and looking back longingly for something we took for granted and couldn't wait to leave, and now what we looked forward to no longer looks so appealing.

I'm gonna miss my old life, my friends, and my teachers. I... I'm scared, and you know what? I don't have any idea what I'm gonna do. Hell, I haven't even ordered my transcripts yet. Pathetic, ain't I?

My chest it tight and empty, I can't breathe. I guess this is how it feels to be terrified out of your wits.

Here is a rundown of my schedule for the week...

On Wednesday, June 14, 2006, there is going to be the cap and gown distribution at 12:30-2:00 PM. I have no idea where we are gonna pick them up, and I can't find anything on the school site either.

On Thursday, June 15, 2006, is the graduation rehersal. Don't know when it will start, but graduation ticket distribution probably starts at 9:00 AM. How am I gonna get into Aztec Field? I have no idea. Probably through West Gate.

5:15 PM on the same day is Graduation line-up. Best to get there at 5:00 or 4:50 PM.

6:00 PM same day the graduation ceremony starts.

9:30 PM same day, we leave for Disneyland Grad Night at the front lawn. Best to bring my things on that day to leave in the trunk of the car, just in case.

Friday, June 16, 2006, we'l get back from Grad Night at the Front Lawn at approximately 6:30 AM.

So yeah.... I'm bored, but also kinda sad. I... I've basically been repeating the same thing over and over since school started in September, I really don't wanna go. It's gonna be really sad, and I'm gonna miss everybody. Well, There's no use moping about it.

I keep telling my friends who are underclassmen, ~LIVE FOR THE FUTURE~*~LIVE IN THE PRESENT~ But it seems like I'm not taking my own advice. I'm basically living in the past, trying to stop here for as long as possible, putting off the inevitable growth from adolecence to adulthood. It's too late though, I should have done that when I had the chance, and all I can do now is look to the future. Hopefully, everything will turn out allright, and even if we do loose touch, at the very least, we have our memories. Or, we can hope against hope, and one day in the distant or not so distant future, meet again, and relive old memories, catch up, and build a new and stranger bond of friendship than the one we have now.

Missing You: A Graduation Story

2006-06-12T00:53:00.000-07:00

This is dedicated to all of my friends, Sanna, Sanchi, Yu Ying, Yu Yu, Pansy, Phyllis, Amy, Allen, Kenny, Wen, Tina, Dana, Mitsuki, Margret, Amy Leiu, Joyce, Amy Loung, Amy G, Kendrick, Kevin, Timothy, Vina, Michelle, Christine, Jeanette, Stephanie, Alex, Chris, Laine, Jeff, Peter, and Jan, who stood by me throughout my academic career. Thank you all for being there for me, when I needed you most, and I'll miss you all.

The dark haired girl sits wordlessly at the desk, her pen rapidly scribbling in the spiral bound notebook. She looks up at the clock occasionally, dark hazel eyes filled with excitement, longing, and deep sorrow. It is Friday, June 9, 2006, 2:27 PM. There is only ten minutes left before she, like her fellow Seniors would leave the campus for the last time as a student, only returning for cap and gown distribution, for the graduation rehearsal, and for the graduation ceremony itself.

She looks at the clock again. 2:30 PM. Seven more minutes. Seven more minutes of childhood, of sitting in the classrooms, echoing with laughter of previous students, seven more minutes before the echoes of the Graduating Class of 2006 becomes mere memories in the long beige halls, memories like the graduating classes before them, memories like the graduating classes that will come after them. It was almost time to go. Anita Wong, a Junior who sits beside her pulls out a camera.

“The only Senior in this class besides the Student Aide,” Anita said, “Lets take a picture!”

The girl smiles, and nods, as she and Anita leans toward one another. There is a few seconds where her heart leaps, and for a brief moment, the cold loneliness in her is replaced with a sense of belonging, of warmth of being with a friend. There is a flash, and she and Anita pulls apart, and she and Anita smile as they look at the picture on the screen. Anita smiles at her, and she smiles back, a sad smile tinged with warmth. Anita returns to her seat and turns to the boy behind her and strikes up a conversation while the girl turns back to her story, the warmth in her heart slowly being replaced by a creeping cold.

2:35, and she throws her things back into her bag and the teacher nods in permission and she runs out the door. The cold and pain is almost unbearable, and she runs to catch up with a friend, putting on a jovial mask. She whoops as the actual bell rings.

“Glad to be gone?” the boy asks.

“Yeah,” she answered as they run to the crosswalk. They say no more as they wait across the street for the bus.

The bus arrives at 2:40 as expected, and there is the usual jostling and pushing as students eager to get home board the bus. She is among the first ones to enter and take the seat nearest the door, and her face is a blank mask. She knows that this will be the last time she will be taking this bus as a student, and her chest tightens. She fights back tears as the bus leaves the stop. She gets off early, at the stop near the Senior Citizen Center, the quickest way home without riding the entire circuit. Her pace is brisk and almost desperate. She forbids herself to cry as she walks the familiar path.

She arrives home, and drops her things on the floor in the middle of her room. She sinks to her knees and buries her face in her hands, but she does not cry. Slowly, she gets back up and takes things out of her bag. The clothes from her Dance final goes in the hamper, her binders joins the collection on the floor beside her nightstand near her desk (she will go through them when her heart is less raw, she thinks), her yearbook and sketch pad goes on the shelf, and her notebooks joins the collection under her desk. The loose sheets go into folders and drawers and are placed with the binders and notebooks. Loose cash and change either go into her piggy banks or her wallet. Pens and pencils go into pencil cases in various parts of the room, the bag goes into her closet, her wallet, keys, and cell phone go on her nightstand, and the ipod goes into her drawers.

‘Keep moving, don’t think,’ she repeats to herself over and over, “don’t think, keep moving, don’t think!’

Maybe if she doesn’t think about it, if she keeps busy, she won’t remember that she is leaving behind her friends, and her surrogate family (classmates who took on different roles in the ‘family’ from various grades in the school), she won’t remember that she is leaving everything she once knew. Maybe she wouldn’t feel so sad, so lonely, so frightened, or so empty. The silence is too much, she turns on the music. After a while she turns it back off. The music on her computer is too lyrical, too sad, it reminds her too much of her pain and loneliness. She turns on the radio. After a while, she turns that off to. The upbeat music reminds her too much of the fun she had with her friends in her Dance Class, in Fifth Period. There is nothing left to do, there is nothing, and she feels the loneliness hit her full force. She forces back a scream of rage, loneliness, and pain, and forbids herself to cry. She throws herself into the internet, concentrating on the fanfiction, on her writing, on her drawings, anything to avoid reflection.

She does not check her email, she does not sign on into AIM or MSN. She doesn’t touch the phone except to call her mother to let her know that she is home. She doesn’t look at the yearbook, or at her old work.

Night falls, she stays up. She doesn’t want to sleep. She knows if she sleeps, her subconscious will force her to remember, but she hopes that sleep will allow her to escape, to not think, to not feel, to not remember. She does not realize it when she drifts off.

She wakes suddenly. She feels calm, warm, content. She remembers nothing, then she sits up and sees the pictures of her friends on her desk and she remembers. The pain and loneliness returns. She tries not to scream.

The day passes in a blur of meaningless work, of fanfics and writings. She immerses herself in a thick book that she had bought earlier in the year but had never read. She concentrates on her mother’s voice when she lectures her, anything to escape.

The next day is the same. There is nothing but a whirlwind of meaningless work and words to escape. She feels nothing, thinks of nothing, concentrates on nothing, she says nothing. Night falls. She does not sleep. She stares at the computer screen in the darkness until the words blur and she begins to hear echoes of laughter, she remembers snippets of old conversations with friends. She screams in her mind and slowly, she turns off the computer and goes to bed, squeezing her eyes shut.

She dreams of graduation. She dreams of being with her friends, they are happy, laughing, and she waves her diploma in the air and her friends hug her. She dreams of joyous lunch period long past, and of the hours of practice that went into the Dance Final, only for her to screw up in her best routine, Hip Hop, only for her friends to reassure her that it is alright. She feels the warmth of belonging.

Morning comes, and she wakes. Her heart is full and she does not try to run. She turns logs on to AIM and MSN and waits for her underclassmen friends to log on. She checks her email and leaves comments on the Xangas of the friends that she cannot reach on AIM or MSN or with email.

She leaves entries on her journals and cleans her room. There is nothing left for her to do. She stares out the window at the trees and plants in the garden. In the end, she allows herself to think, to reflect on the past year. Tears pool in her eyes, but still she does not allow them to fall. She holds them in her heart, and promises herself that they will not fall until the right time, until she knows that she will never have contact with her school friends again. She promises herself that she will let herself cry later, knowing deep inside herself that later will never come.

She sighs and begins planning what she will wear on graduation, what she will wear for Grad Night, what she will wear for the celebration on June 17, 2006. She plans what she will wear when her Aunt gets engaged on June 24, 2006. She plans and reflects on the past, but she moves forward.

She knows that all the other Seniors in the world is feeling the same way, and that all of them are moving forward. She knows that she will miss her friends and vice versa, and that she will never have friends like them again. She knows that the sadness will fade with time; after all, the sadness of her Eighth Grade Graduation had faded over the past four year.

She moves forward, and does not look back.

The End

So not Worth the Drama

2006-05-09T11:38:00.000-07:00

I have gone through a total of two friendship crisises in this year, and both of them ended with the dissolution of the relationship. So very interesting.

The most recent one has been building for years, so I'm not quite surprised by my falling out with Dana. He's been annoying me more and more in the past couple of months, and now that I'm free of him, I feel so much lighter, as if a heavy load has just been taken off my shoulders. I won't be able to aviod him since we still share friends and have the same sixth period, but that's alright.

The least recent has also been building, but for months instead of years. J&K have been trying to put down Mi-chan for a long time now. Mi-chan can be somewhat harsh in her words and actions, but it doesn't happen if you just don't piss her off. K is a self rightous bitch, and J is an idiot, much as I hate to say it. I have nothing to do with the friendship. Mere weeks after I was integrated into the circle, we broke off into two factions, Phoenix Pair, Mi-chan and myself, and Backstabber Pai, K&J. I can still hold a civil conversation with them, but I will not lie and say that I like them. They slandered Mi-chan and I, and hurt Mi-chan very badly. However, I am willing to be little more than polite aqquaintences, but it doesn't mean that I will miss them. In fact, I don't know them well enough to miss them.

I can't avoid all three of them, since the chool is so small, but it's quite alright. I only have less than a month left of school here in Keppel, then I'll graduate. I won't have to see them again.

Well, There's only four to five minutes left of class, so I guess I better stop here and start cleaning up... Who knows, my next post may be about finals, graduation, or even grad nite. Oh well, I guess we'll find out when the time comes. See ya!

Helping out at the office.. rolls eyes

2006-04-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

Yeah... The subject says it all.

I'm heping out at my aunt Jackie's office today. I know it's totally useless, but I'm going to do a little advertising here.

All Source Tax Inc.
Jacquelyn Kwok, E.A.
1101 E. Garvey Ave. #108
Monterey Park, Ca 91755
Tel: (626) 288-0016
Fax: (626) 288-0017

Yeah... so that's about it...

Anyway, I've been answering phones all day long. My cousin Sharon is here too, but all she's really been doing is playing games... Heh, not that it really matters. The second mother and I leave, she'll either come with us or stay with Aunt Jackie. If she chooses to stay, she will have no choice but to answer the phone...

Anyway, we've been here for a little over two hours and thirty minutes. Damn time moves slowly... But while we're pretty busy, it's Aunt Jackie doing all the work. All Sharon and I are doing are playing around, or in my case, answering phones. My mother isn't doing anything. She's just sitting there having fun and making comments. She only ever takes the phone when there is a customer who speaks a different language. Sharon alternates between playing on the internet, playing games, and reading Memoirs of a Geisha which I intended to read myself.

Heh...I've been doing a lot of typing, what with writing my fanfiction, checking e-mail, and now typing up this entry. My wrists are tired, so I'll leave off here...

The drama in my life in the past few days

2006-04-04T11:28:00.000-07:00

A little while ago, my friend Mitsuki and I found out that two friends, Karen and Jess, were talking bad about us behind our backs. Karen even went to far as to rant about our alledged stupidity and lack of good friendship toward them on her Xanga. Karen got flamed by a lot of people, and Mitsuki and I took turns chewing her out, and personally, I think mine had the greatest psychological effect. After all, how would you feel if you found out that you were slandering someone who had been abused as a child, who is adopted, and even after six years, has yet to recover psychologically? Not that it really matters, but the crisis threw everything off kilter. My selfcontrol went out the window, my emotions were all over the place, and my already screwy sleeping habits became even more screwy.

Anyway, The crisis has been resolved. Jess and I sat down and had a heart to heart talk and resolved everything. Karen has apologized after several days of the silent treatment, and I have sent her a message that was short, blunt, and to the point. Whether or not she replies is up to her.

Anyway, we had our dance midterm yesterday, and Sanchi and I added to it at the last minute. Of course, we screwed up, but Ms. Heredia allowed us to start over. We went with the original routine, and executed it perfectly, with only mior mishaps. I think we did pretty well, but I wonder if we had any points docked for screwing up in the first place...

Yeah, at the same time, there was the time change. If my sleeping habits were screwed up to begin with, it became even more screwed up when the Friendship Crisis took place, and was even more screwed up when the time change took place. I just know that I'm going to be exhausted for a long time after this....

When in Keppel, Be a Keppelite...

2006-03-27T23:41:00.001-08:00

Today wasn't very interesting, just fifty something students walked off campus to protest a bill/law concerning illegal immigrants. Several people jumped the fence in front of administrators and the cops, who didn't do anything to try and stop them... Not that they could tackle them and drag the students back on campus by the ear... One guy jumped the fence just for the sake of juming it, then jumped back... No, seriously... He climbed the fence, jumped over it, then climbed back over. People were all like, "God! Make up your mind, are you going to jump the fence or not?!"

Anyway, my friend

Michi

was sick today, so Karen, Mitsuki, and I had lunch alone near the temporary bungalows... It was such a lonely lunch compared to other days... TT_TT

I have an accounting test coming up soon, and I'm having a little trouble with the posting... I am so screwed... I got a C on my last test, and a B on all the other tests since the beginning of the second semester... Quite the far cry from first semester, when I got all As on my accounting tests... But hey, at least I'm passing my tests...

I woke up around 2:00 AM this morning, and I was like, "Oh, shit! I left my disk in the school computer on Friday! I hope it's still there, and that it's not damaged!" It's a good thing that most people use flash drives nowadays instead of disks, otherwise, my CD would be gone. As it is, I safely retreived my disk, but I haven't tested it to see if it is still operational or not... I'm afraid to... I mean, what if it is damaged? There are some files on there that I don't have backups for, which means that I would have lost them with no way of retrieving them, and I cleared my history on Friday night, as well...

Anyway... I started getting all introspective again... What is it about being near the end of senior year that makes me so goddamn sappy? Oh, yeah... Graduation... Oh, no, I haven't forgotten about THAT. In fact, I have senior-itis, and somehow, I'm still managing to maintain at least average grades... O.o I'm not quite sure how I'm doing it either... But I suppose I should be glad that I'm maintaining passing grades... If I fail so much as one class, I won't be able to graduate. That would be HUMILIATING...

Anyway, it's midterm week, and Friday is a minimum day. I suppose that in itself is something to be thankful for... I can't wait... As for my impatience, if Peter forgets my anime again, I swear, I will whip my racquet out of Yumemi Space, and hit him with a barrage of tennis balls. After that, I will throttle him, and once I am sure that he is dead, I'll sic my beloved Sanda genichiro and Yanagi Renji on him... No, actually, I'll badger him until Grad Night and beyond. We are both seniors, after all, so magging the hell out of him shouldn't be too hard. After all, a woman's specialty is nagging at men until they get their way... ^____^ Heehee...

And yes, my beloved kohai-tachi (and I mean you, michi, michan, and zuka...) I like Yanagi, if only because I think he's cool. And NO I am NOT cheating on Sanada...

How Time Flies...

2006-03-24T21:15:00.000-08:00

Midterms are coming up, and there is a little under 50 days before graduation, give or take a few days... My god how time flies....

It feels like only yesterday that I was seeing Keppel for the first time. I can still remember being all, "Damn, this place looks like crap," and "I cannot believe that I'm here," when I first entered the school as a freshmen. Now, I'm all, "Wow, that was fast," and "I don't wanna go!" and "Whoohoo!!! I'm almost free!!!" I really don't want to leave, but at the same time, I can't wait to get out of that hellhole that the administrators call an educational facility... ^^

Anyway, I'm starting to get lazy... I can't fall prey to senior-itis at this point in time if I wanna gradauate. The problem is that I've had senior-itis since the sixth grade... ^^;;; Talk about getting to far ahead of your self... XP

Anyway, I have a dance midterm to take care of, and Sanchi and I need to come up with the first 32 beats, go into the preset routine, and figure out the last 32 beats... Well, we have the basics for the last 32 beats worked out, but it seems somewhat incomplete so I guess we'll be going in for some extra-credit by taking on a 64 beat routine for the end.

Gah... O.o I'm not good at choreography, and I'm supposed to be coming up with the moves for this routine... The main problem is that I'm leading, and I'm the girl! Sanchi is the guy, so isn't she supposed to be leading instead of hte other way around? o_o???

And today is simply not my day... My glasses dropped a lens after fifth, and I couldn't find the screw... And I have a huge headache that I've had since the middle of sixth period... >.<|||||

So, yeah... That is basically how my day went...

Blah.

2006-03-10T11:40:00.000-08:00

A Sub in fourth and zero. zero i can handle, he is nice and lets us alone. fourth is old, ugly, and his cologne STINKS.

Third is so far ahead of the other classes in "Othello" that the teacher gave us free period.

So basically, I have three free periods, after all, who actually WORKS when there is a sub who doesn't know what is going on?

Finally got AIM

2006-03-08T19:50:00.000-08:00

It's cold, And i'm tired. On the good side, I finally got AIM!!! I can finally log on and chat with my friends!!!

Chatting with Mitsuki and Jess right now...

Accounting test in fourth has been postponed... On the other hand, we learned something new today, and I am totally confused... Lol...

Must get help tomorrow, from Vina or Kevin...

New Project in Sixth Period

2006-03-07T16:32:00.000-08:00

I have a new project for sixth period. It really isn't anything new, just research a topic and give a presentation on it.

I'm supposed to be researching the fashions of the 1950s...

Gak... US History is such a drag, but I need to do well here if I want to cross the stage this year... The thing is, I really don't want to work either... Not a good combination for someone like me, not when I'm on the verge of becoming a supersenior as it is...

Blah... I'm multitasking again, though...

Gak! I'm recieving more emails than I can answer!!!

But that's my own fault. I'm exchanging emails with two of my friends at once, and while it takes a while for us to read and answer, if the emails just come in a steady stream, well... then, peoples, we have a problem...

Sigh, even as I write this, I'm trying to come up with my next section of my ficcies, and it's not easy!!! T_T

Honestly! ANOTHER TWO emails! How does Jess answer them so quickly!!!???

((O))_((O))

Yeesh! My kohai certainly are persistant! **Rushes off to answer emails**

Test for Fourth Period tomorrow...

2006-03-07T11:47:00.000-08:00

I am so screwed.

There is an accounting test in fourth tomorrow, and I can't post properly... I'm such a sad, sad, little girl....

Anyway, The bell is ringing in a little under a minute, so I guess I'll post again later...

Rain, Rain, Rain!!!

2006-03-06T20:05:00.000-08:00

It's raining like crazy!!! It's freezing too... The rain totally ruined my plans to go get some ice cream...

Well, It's going to be a long, cold night, so I had better dig out that extra blanket...

On the other hand, I really should do my history homework. I have two study guides, both of which are due tomorrow. Granted that I don't have history until sixth period, I should still do some of it to lessen the workload of what I will have to finish tomorrow...

Gah... Too lazy...

On the other hand, I've been typing away like crazy, especially since I've been exchanging emails with my friend Jess since around four PM, while updating my xangas and live journals, and writing a story for my other friend Mitsuki at the same time...

God I'm tired....

A Tenipuri FanFic

2006-03-06T20:00:00.000-08:00

To: Mitsuki

~Hi, Mi-chan!

~You vanished so I couldn’t get you your ficcie! Oh, well… I’ll just have to give it to you here…

Atobe Miyuki Falls for Yukimura Seiichi (No, Really…)

“Miyuki, where are you going?” Michiko asked, as she turned away from Kotori’s match. Beside her, Shizuka glanced at them from behind her bangs.

“To see Eiji,” Miyuki said.

“And then you’ll come running back after twenty minutes, and back to Kikumaru’s match ten minutes later,” Shizuka said, “Pick a match and stick with it. Besides, we can see Kotori play at any old time.”

“But the intensity isn’t the same!” Miyuki protested.

“I’m not even going to argue with you, Miyuki,” Michiko said. “I don’t know about you, Shizuka, but I know that if I don’t leave NOW, Seigaku will be disqualified from the tournament.”

Shizuka smiled. “I don’t have to go until two, so I can’t leave with you, Michiko. Good luck at the tournament.”

“Aa. I’ll see you guys later!” Michiko called as she left the courts.

“I’ll come with you!” Miyuki said as she walked with Michiko in toward the exit, which was in the direction of the boy’s tournaments.

“Game, Seigaku’s Tenou! 4 games to 3! Change court!” the referee called.

Kotori stepped over to the fence, water bottle in hand. “So let me guess, Michiko left for her tournament, and Miyuki left to stalk Kikumaru?”

Shizuka smiled. “That’s right. Now concentrate on your match, senpai.”

Kotori grinned as she sipped from her bottle and set it down. “You’re the last queen here, Shizuka, so you better cheer!”

Shizuka waved a languid hand at Kotori, “Hai, hai…”

~*~

“Game, Todo Academy’s Shibuya, Hitomi Pair! 3 games to love! Change court!” the referee called.

“Ganbatte, Eiji!” Miyuki yelled while waving at her beloved as the redheaded acrobatics player sipped water from his water bottle.

The redhead grinned at her and winked while flashing a V-is-for-victory sign before joining Oishi, his doubles partner on the court. She admired her boyfriend’s profile and the way the sun reflected off his hair as Kikumaru discussed the next move with Oishi before the two took up their respective positions for the I-Formation.

~*~

Miyuki stayed until the Golden Pair had made a comeback before leaving to watch the conclusion of Kotori’s game.

In her haste to get to the girl’s side of the courts before her senpai’s game ended, Miyuki never noticed the tripwire that Kirihara had rigged to catch unsuspecting victims. Predictably, when her foot got caught in the tripwire, she fell forward.

“Eek!” she yelped, as she dropped her bag and closed her eyes, expecting the pain and smack that would come with hitting the ground.

Yukimura, who was talking to Sanada nearby, caught Miyuki as she fell. When she felt herself hitting something warm and firm instead of hard and unyieldingly cold, Miyuki opened her sea grey eyes and stared into the worried blue eyes of Rikkaidai Fuzokuchuu’s Yukimura Seiichi.

“You… You’re Rikkaidai’s…” Miyuki stammered.

“Are you all right?” Yukimura asked.

Miyuki could only nod in response, shock having stolen her voice.

“Miyuki!” Atobe’s voice said suddenly from be hind her, “Ore-sama never expected to see YOU cheating on Kikumaru! Na, Kabaji?”

“Usu.”

Miyuki moved away from Yukimura and turned to glare at her brother. “Onii-san! I was NOT cheating on Eiji! I just tripped!”

“And ended up in Yukimura-kun’s arms,” Shizuka said, approaching them from behind. “I think that basically equals cheating.”

“Nya! Minna is so mean to me!” Miyuki wailed.

“Kotori was right,” Shizuka said, “you’ve been spending too much time with Kikumaru. You’re picking up his habits.”

“Hmm… Ore-sama believes that you are correct, Magami.”

“Ara? What is everyone doing gathered here?” Kotori arrived, patting the back of her neck lightly with a towel. Her Regulars jersey was tied around her waist and the racquet bag was slung over a shoulder.

Miyuki instantly turned to her senpai, sea-grey eyes wide, and sparkling with unshed tears. “Senpai! They’re picking on me!” she wailed, burying her face in Kotori’s free shoulder.

“There, there,” Kotori murmured soothingly ass she patted her kohai on the back.

“Is the match over already, Tenou-san?” Yukimura asked.

“Aa. A Seigaku victory, three games to two.”

“To be expected from the Eldest of the Four Queens, the Formidable Captain of Seigaku,” Shizuka said.

“No one can beat Kotori in tennis, nya!” Miyuki said.

“Definitely turning into Kikumaru,” Shizuka said.

“WAI!!! Shizuka hates me!” Miyuki wailed.

“Uh… I don’t hate you, Miyuki…” Shizuka said nervously.

“Yay! Shizuka loves me!”

Major glompfest.

“Ore-sama is leaving,” Atobe announced as sweatdrops appeared on everyone’s head (except for Miyuki). “Let’s go, Kabaji.”

“Usu.”

“Okaaaayyyy….” Kotori turned and looked at Sanada, “Isn’t your match next, Sanada-san?”

Sanada nodded. “Aa.”

“Shall we go then?” Yukimura asked.

“Let’s,” Kotori said.

She called over her shoulder to Shizuka as she left, “We’ll go down to the archery range in about half an hour, Shizuka. Take care of Miyuki until then, will you?”

Shizuka’s head snapped up and dark eyes stared at Kotori’s retreating back in horror. “What? Why me?”

Kotori couldn’t resist a parting shot, “Have fun!”

“Ch-chotto matte, Kotori! Kotori! KOTORI!!!”

“Let’s go, let’s go!” Miyuki was bouncing up and down now. “Let’s go watch Eiji and Fuji whip Todo!”

Shizuka sighed. “If I have too…” and allowed her suddenly hyperactive senpai lead her to the tennis courts where their boyfriends were and would be playing their matches…

I hope you like it, Mitsuki!

Sincerely Yours,

Tenou Kotori Senpai

Just under one minute left

2006-02-24T11:47:00.000-08:00

I have another Enviromental Sciences project due... But my entire group skipped out on me... I have the powerpoint finished, I just need the bibliography, but I have all weekend for that. Our presentation will be on Monday, so there is more time to prepare... Joy...

I got stuck doing all the work again as well....

Wow... It's Been a While...

2006-02-24T11:35:00.000-08:00

Wow.. It's been a whiloe since I updated, hasn't it? Sigh... Oh well...

Anyway, I have this cough that just WON'T go away....

On the other hand, I just finished a test, and I'm pretty confident that I did well... I must have been among the first five to finish...

Anyway, I have less than ten minutes to get this posted, so I'll stop with the small talk. I want more Prince of Tennis... I have up to episode 150, and I want to see more. My friend Peter is going to help me get the OAV and the movie, so I'm just waiting on my friend Mitsuki to download the rest of the episodes for me....

Then there is Kyou Kara Maou, I have up to episode 34, and I want to see more... I'm somewhat confused by the plot and storyline, but the anime is just plain funny, and I can't get enough of it!

I also want more Xenosaga. Peter was rather cruel, only giving me four episodes... Not that it matters, I would download the stuff myself, but my computer always corrupts the files somehow....

Anyway, I only have less than three minutes left to post this before the teacher kicks us out for lunch, so I'll leave off here and post...

But one last rant... I want more Tenipuri Doujinshi! Especially if its TezuRyo pairing! Pillar Pair forever!!!

PROJECTS, PROJECTS EVERY WHERE...

2006-01-18T11:18:00.000-08:00

pROJECTS. GOTTA GO.

Sterfish's Place

2006-01-18T11:17:00.003-08:00

Sterfish's Place

kINDA A PLACE i JUST BEEN TOO... WAS INTERESTED, AND DECIDED TO STICK IT HERE FOR SAFE KEEPING. GOTTA GO FINISH THE PROJECT.
JA.

day two of the break

2005-12-23T09:59:00.000-08:00

Found seven new cuts on my arm. My winter break is getting off to a very bad start.

It's Monday... ((Dejectedly)) Yay...

2005-12-19T11:08:00.000-08:00

Oh, It's monday... Joy...

On the good side, There's only two and a half more days to go before break starts.

I'm very glad. My friend has loaned me some DVDs concerning the anime "The Prince of Tennis"

Mitsuki, Karen and Jessica will kill me, but good god! Tezuka, Eiji, Ryoma, Momo, and Fuji are so cute!

My friend Mitsuki is so mean though. I know I haven't seen all the episodes of Prince of Tennis... She doesn't have to be so mean and critisize me though. I know Ryoma cannot stay stoic and anti-social forever, yet she has the gall to critisize me! I asked WHEN it happened... episode number, not spoilers! Geez!

For my own happiness, and the happiness of whoever is reading this, here is a website for Prince of Tennis...

http://www.animechains.com/princeoftennis/

Another Dream, and a Terrifying Discovery...

2005-12-13T11:31:00.000-08:00

I dreamed that I was in a large building, with many hallways. There were many doors, and there were little pads in the wall for codes and access cards. I was dressed in a formfitting suit similar to the synergetic suits in "Fafner in the Azure" and there were soldiers shooting at me with sub-machine guns. I knew they were firing sub-machine guns, even though in real life, I woould never be able to identify one... I was in front of a door, the door was shut, and I knew that inside was a computer lab, and my comrade needed time to download the files we needed and to compromise the system, and I was firing my own gun at the enemy.

I remember the door opening after a while, and my comrade, a female with black hair, about 5'3, with red eyes, japanese, dressed the same way I was, came out, and we ran down the halls. I got hit several times, and a few bullets grazed my left arm near the shoulder.

Then the entire dreamscape dissolved into a sea of red, the floor rippled and reflected my image at me, and it was raining blood. There were black feathers and rotting cherry blossoms floating past me on the shimmering red floor, and I knew that the redness was blood.

I started sinking, and I started screaming. The blood went into my mouth, I could taste it, and it flooded my nose. I was drowning in blood, I could see the feathers and rotting cherry above me, every thing was so red, I couldn't breathe or move... Then as my vision started getting dark, I woke up.

When I woke up, my left forearm was hurting, and while I was changing for school, I noticed that there were scratches on my arm near the shoulder. They were exactly where the bullets in my dream hit me, and one of them was still bleeding!

I don't know what is happening. Why am I dreaming such things? Why are injuries from my dreams translating into the waking world? Its fourth period, and my arm still hurts, especially when people in the halls jostle my arm.

I'm scared and confused. What's going on?

Another strange Dream...

2005-12-12T11:46:00.000-08:00

I dreamt of money last night. I opened a textbook, my world Lit book, I believe, and found a 10,000 dollar bill... two of them!

And then, I put then inside a rat piggybank that belongs to my mother, at the very bottom! I don't remember dreaming anything else, but I know there was more...

I wish I could understand these weird dreams...

Anyway... I made a new xanga! http://www.xanga.com/AlexaClyne

My original xangas were http://www.xanga.com/LadyKamui16\ and http://www.xanga.com/EarthPrincess16

My live journals are http://www.livejournal.com/users/hitokiri07eva and http://www.livejournal.com/user/kunoichiyumemi

I know, I'm going overboard, but hey! I need an outlet!

I even have two quizilla accounts, under the names KunoichiUmi and MaskedGundam...

Anyway, Class is almost over, so I better go!

My nightmares just got worse

2005-12-09T11:47:00.000-08:00

OK. I wrote in one of my previos posts that I had a horrible night mare. Well, guess what?

They just got worse.

Now, not only am I surrounded by my friends and family's bloody corpses, I see myself holding a bloody katana. I know the blood belong to the people on the ground, and the skin is flaking off my hands. My blood is black, and the area over my heart is black and rotting.

Does this mean that I am the one to blame for the horrors to come?

I hope not.

I know I hold people at arms length most of the time, but those whom I care for... When I care, I CARE.

Please let this be a warning and not a vision of what is to come...

I am scared...

What is MIR?

2005-12-05T20:41:00.000-08:00

MIR is an entity which is around us at all times. MIR is a single entity, eternal and indestructable.

When we breathe, we inhale and exhale MIR. When we eat or drink, we consume MIR. Our material possessions and our sentinence is MIR. MIR is the gift of intellegance, the gift of choice, to choice our path in life, and to choose to exist in a world of conversation, or to choose not to exist in a world without conversation, in a path to the void.

Long ago, all objects and beings were one, and MIR was the source of the void. MIR manifested itself as the stars, which birthed the universe, and brought into the world beasts, plants, and minerals. With the birth of all things living, came also the birth of thought and intelligence. Mankind was born.

MIR is grafted into the very essence of our beings, and with MIR, comes the knowledge of existence and non-existence. MIR is life and choice. MIR is death and void.

MIR sustains life, and destroys it. At all times, we strive to become one with MIR. We may become one with MIR by choosing the path into the void, in which one embraces death. In this choice one loses all semblance of humanity, with neither need, want, nor desire. One who walks the path of the void knows nothing and everything, and they strive to return all things to the void, and they feel nothing, neither pain, nor grief, nor joy, nor sorrow. Those who become one with MIR through the path of the void shed no tears, feel no fear or rage, and are empty and nonexistant. They do not exist, and simply are. They know nothing of pain and experiance.

MIR sustains life and destroys it. At all times, we strive to become one with MIR. We may become one with MIR by choosing the world of conversation, in which one embraces life. In this choice, one gains a heart, and learn pain and experiance. They feel need, desire, want, loneliness, anger, hatred, joy, sorrow, grief, and shed tears. Those who walk the path into a world of conversation knows MIR, yet they do not know it. They experience MIR to the fullest extent, and do not know it. They learn and make mistakes. They perservere, and desire nothing more than to exist, to know pain and experience, to bring things into the world, and live before returning to the void.

MIR is a single entity which surrounds us at all times. MIR simply is, and is neither benevolent or malevolent. MIR is intent and choice. MIR is life and death. MIR is pain and experience. MIR is existence and void. MIR sustains life and destroys it. Mir is a single entity that existed long before time, and will continue to exist. MIR is the potential for life and the potential for death. Mir is a single entity that surrounds us at all time. Mir is eternal and indestructible. Mir is grafted into the very essence of our beings. At all times, we strive to become one with MIR, and are at all times one with MIR.

MIR is a single entity that surrounds us at all times. MIR is potential, eternal and indestructable.

A Foreshaadowing of Things to Come or is it Something Else?

2005-12-05T20:14:00.000-08:00

I had a nightmare last night, and everytime I don't have something to do to, I see the corpes of my family and friends, lying in pools of blood, their skin pasty white with maggots and flies swarming over them, staring at me with blank glassy eyes. An ourouboros was hovering over them, and a circle of water was behind the ourouboros.

I don't know what brought that about, but I do know that something bad is going to happen soon. I don't dream often, and a nightmare is even more rare, and the few times I do dream, they are warnings.

I don't know why I had this dream. Why did the entity of MIR give me such a dream? Is what will be coming ahead so horrible that destiny and fate sees fit to warn me? I can't be sure. I have a horrible forbidding feeling...

I even woke up to find a spider on the wall above my bed. Another omen, a bad omen, and one that I cannot decipher.

In my dreams, I see what was, what might have been, what may be, what will be, and what IS. I can't know what I am being warned about, all I know is that it is a warning...

I hate to say it, but I am scared. I am completely terrified that what I have dreamed may come to pass. Illogical, yes, but when I dream, it's a warning or a foreshadowing. I am frightened...

To make things worse, I couldn't go back to sleep, which meant that when I dozed off in my classes, I saw the images of my nightmares. I couoldn't concentrate, and simply walking through the halls were torture, since every time I spoke with my friends, I see them as I saw them in my dream.

I am frightened. I know I will not have any sleep tonight, and I will not sleep well for many nights to come.

22 more days... lalalalala....

2005-12-03T16:00:00.000-08:00

Giggles... 22 more day till christmas! I wonder what I'll get.

I hope it's books by Susan R Matthews...

I really want to read Prisoner of conscience, Hour of Judgement, and Exchange of hostages...

I hear that they're really good books, and the exerpts I've read aint half bad either...

If not, I'd love to get Sherwood Smith's Crown Duel and Court Duel... I loved the story when I borrowed the book from the library last year. Unfortunately, since the Bruggermeyer moved to Monterey Pass Road while the library is under constrution, over half of the books are in storage, so I really have no way to access it. I could always order it, but I don't think my parents would be extremely happy that I spent the money on something other than school books.

I will need that money for my schoolbooks next year, after all.

If there is any college that will take me, I hope to god that it is the Dominican in San Rafael or the Academy of Art in San Fransico. I wouldn't mind it if USC took me either....

I hate being a Senior. There's so much to do and so little time!

Time sure moves quickly, doesn't it?

2005-12-01T15:58:00.000-08:00

It is December at long last!

Christmas is almost here! just a few more days!

Any way, I have a lot of homework, so I'll see ya all later!

ES Biome Project...

2005-11-22T18:46:00.000-08:00

Do none of you ever check the blog? Tomorrow we meet at the library, at 11:00 AM. I may arrive a bit late, At 11:15 at latest.

Bring all necessary materials, money for copies, poster board, pencil, pen, paper, etc... Bring your textbook, and if neccessary, the prompt for the project.

Leave nothing behind, no matter how insignificant. It may turn out to be useful later on.

Yumemi

ES Biome Project

2005-11-21T20:34:00.000-08:00

Sigh... For the Record...

Initial = ID

E.S.M. = Mitsui

A.L. = Aki

Q.Y. = Sora

P.T. = Yumemi

To whomever is doing interspecific competition... If you can find whomever is doing the food web, and if they are willing to switch with you, go right ahead. The definition of INTERSPECIFIC COMPETITION is MEMBERS OF TWO OR MORE SPECIES TRYING TO USE THE SAME LIMITED RESOURCES IN AN ECOSYSTEM. Whereas INTERFERENCE COMPETITION is a SITUATION IN WHICH ONE SPECIES LIMITS THE ACCESS OF ANOTHER SPECIES TO A RESOURCE, REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THE RESOURCE IS ABUNDANT OR SCARE.

Aki... I will let you slide, just this once, however... You had better get the work done! Our grade depends on this project! Please remember that!

Yes, Q.Y. Your ID here is Sora... And don't you DARE wahtever US, young man! Our grade depends on this project, or are you so eager to get a bad grade?!!! XC

ES Biome Project

2005-11-21T16:59:00.000-08:00

For Enviromental Science, we have a Biome Project. Due Monday, November 28.

Aki
Sora
Mitsui

Codenames for my partners while we work.

For the members of my group, remember that I will check this blog every day at 11 AM and 5 PM. But that doesn't mean that you should not drop your summaries and plans here every day between 8AM and 9 PM over our five day holiday. Please remember that our grade depends on this project, and do remember to drop in.

Yumemi out.

College Applications... Scary...

2005-11-18T23:02:00.000-08:00

IT has been a very long day and my family is badgering me about college apps and such. Evidently, they don't trust registering on the internet very much, and I'm expected to bring back home a few applications from the Career Center @ school....

Too badd I'm so nervous about such things, but I do need the applications to get into college...

Listing of colleges I want to Attend:

Dominican University

CalState LA

USC

UCLA

ELAC (A bit on the low scale, but hey! we can't have everything!)

Academy of Art, San Fransisco

UC Riverside (Not going to be easy to get into though, considering my grades and lack of SAT scores...)

I am a total idiot... Too scared to pick up college apps... Feh, coward...

Need scholarships, and grants, and possibly loans in order to get to school, but that's a total other story.

It's getting late, and despite the coffee and nap, I'm tired. See ya!

OMIGOSH! OMIGOSH!! OMIGOSH!!!

2005-11-17T11:27:00.000-08:00

OMIGOSH!!! OMIGOSH!!! OMIGOSH!!! I cannot believe it! I just recieved an e-mail from a publishing company! They saw some of my work, and want to publish!

OMIGOSH! !!!O_O!!!

I cannot believe this!!! @o@ I'm so excited!!!

I only put up one or two chapters of a rough draft for some of my Stories, for http://www.FictionPress.net and several more chapters for my stories on http://www.fanfiction.net so I don't think that I really have that much to work with... But OMIGOSH!!!

http://www.xlibris.com wants to help publish some of my stuff! OMIGOSH!!! This is so cool!!!

Takes deep Breath...

I just hope all of this excitement didn't affect my ability to concentrate on my Accounting Test too badly...

But OMIGOSH!!!! I still cannot believe this!!! This is so very cool!!!

I will respond and accept, I think, and I'd love to be able to publish my work!

Mix It Up

2005-11-15T16:46:00.000-08:00

Today is also mix it up day. I missed it since I was such a weakling and collapsed. damn it.

So very Tired

2005-11-15T16:44:00.000-08:00

I was so tired... The fact that it's that time of the month doesn't help either. In fact, things got so bad, I collapsed in the middle of lunch! I spent the entire fifth period in the nurse's office! How could this have happened? How could I have been so weak!

So damned WEAK!!!

I am so pissed!

I know I am Strange, and I am Proud of it

2005-11-14T22:40:00.000-08:00

I am a strange person I always have been. There is TREEsa at LiveJournal who is among some of the first to say so. there is another who said that I am psycho, but that was an annonymous comment.

Frankly, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I can't force anyone to be my friend if they don't want to. The world doesn't work that way, and it is certainly not my preferred modus operandi. If TREEsa wanted me to un-friend her, all she really had to do was ask. But she chose to wait until I introduced myself to her in order to make the request.

I am willing to let her rant and yell at me all she wants tomorrow at mix-it-up day, but I won't go near the music area, not unless it is for lunch or to go home after my shift at the library on Wednesdays.

I may be insane/psycho/weird/unique/odd/schizophrenic, but I'm not entirely heartless. I won't go over if she seriously doesn't want me to. All she really has to do is ask, and I will stay away.

I'm not like other people, I know it. Frankly, I'm not at all insulted by some of the things that people say about me, since some may be truth, and I accept it as a part of who I am. As for the other rumors, well, if it's false, I guess all I can really do is ignore it or smile in amusement, no matter how much it hurts.

TREEsa may not want to see me face to face, but honestly, there is no way she can avoid it. We could possibly see each other every day without fail and would never realize it. It is possible, considering the size of Mark Keppel HS, but not likely. Even if by some strange chance, we managed to avoid meeting each other face to face, we would inevitably meet at graduation.

It would be inevitable that we meet. We cannot avoid each other forever, and we would meet face to face, if only for a few seconds. We are both members of the graduating class of '06 at Mark Keppel after all.

I am rather... upset...

She knew my user name for the LJ, and she could have dropped off a comment requesting me to stop or un-friend her, but she refused. She waited until I introduced myself to really say anything, and frankly, it hurts.

I may sometimes be confused by what I am feeling, and I may consider emotion as a weakness, but I am only human. I may be able to prevent my self from feeling certain emotions, but I can still feel regardless of my ideals or beliefs. I am human, flesh and blood and bone, not stone. I can still feel, even if I wish I could not.

I am not insulted. I'm just... a tad... upset...

But at the same time...

I'm glad...

I'm glad that after a few online encounters, someone could see my uniqueness and comment on it...

I'm glad to know that I'm not just one of hundreds of mass produced humans made up of carbon...

I am not insulted...

I'm just...

A tad...

upset...

Why am I not allowed to change?

2005-11-12T10:45:00.000-08:00

All living things change, whether physically or mentally. My mother, is accusing me of stealing her little piggy banks shaped like mickey mouse. So i might have lifted a few dollars from her purse as a child, but it's a phase that some if not all children go through! The one thing i hate most are people who think that a person is not allowed to change...

To pissed to write any more.

Yumemi out.

What are Emtions?

2005-11-11T17:37:00.000-08:00

Love Fear Hatred Joy Anger Sorrow Pain Grief Indifference Confusion Nervous Coy Excited Bored Empty Disturbed Tired Shock Illness Love Greed Laziness Inspiration Desire Lust Loneliness Friendship Sadness

All signs of Human Frailty...

Humans are composed mostly of Carbon, composed of acids, bases, and proteins, along with a great many other elements.

But what about emotion?

What is emotion?

Is it the strange emptiness one feels when a dear friends leaves for home after a doy of playing on the computer at you house? Or is emotion merely a useless object that clouds judgement and hinders logical thinking?

What is emotion?

Is it a weakness?

Emotion such as anger causes brash and reckless behavior, causing a person to react without thinking, often times resulting in punishment or injury.

What is emotion?

Is it a strength?

Emotion such as love causes the desire to protect the object or person that is most prescious, even at the cost of your own life. It often ends with victory, the fullfillment of the deepest desires and happiness of the one in question... That is, if one succeeds in their task.

What is emotion?

Emotion is the driving force behind much of humankind's existence, causing society to change and fluctuate.

Without hatred and greed, there would be no wars and the human population would rise infinitly unless some natural cuase steps in to cause a decrease in the population, even thouogh it wouldn't help much in the reducing of the human comsumption of resources.

Without Love, desire, or lust, the population would decrease, without any future generations to continue our existence unless humankind were to reproduce through cloning or with some other technology.

What is emotion?

Emotion is the fluctuation in hormones and brainwaves, sending messeges through the nervous system to different parts of the body, releasing hormones and adreneline, causing the changes in mood and behavior.

What is emotion?

Emotion is the...

Emotion is...

Emotion is FEELING.

What is feeling?

Feeling is...

Emotion is not logical.

Feeling is not logical.

Emotion and feeling are instincts.

What are Insticts?

Instincts are the inborn tendancy to do something, to run, to hide, to fight, to eat, to mate.

What are emotions?

Emotions hold no logic and cannot be effectively described or analyzed.

If Emotions are not logical, how can they be trusted?

Emotions are not logical and cannot be trusted. But because Emotions stem from instinct, emotions are trusted.

Emotions...

I have supressed my emotions as to not beable to fall prey to the weaknesses that come with it, but with the supression of emotion, comes also the blindness of fools and the weaknesses of having no instict as a guide. I have no emotions, I need none.

Year Book Pix

2005-11-10T11:53:00.000-08:00

Year book pictures. Gotta go and get my Senior T-shirt from the student store. Bells gonna ring. Post again later.

Yumemi Out.

Emotional Topic of the Day!!!

2005-11-08T19:38:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling really bad, kinda depressed. As such, today's emotional topic is depression.

Everyone feels depressed at one point or another. Depression is stemmed from guilt and loneliness. Depressed people have a tendancy to try to kill themselves. Masks are usually a front used to hide depression from friends and family, so people close to the depressed person never realize that something is wrong until it is too late.

In scientific terms however, depression is caused by an imbalance in hormones.

In my own terms, depression is caused by a lack of something in life, something that is deperately desired but unacheivable. Depression can cause disorientation, lack of interest, fatigue, and suicidal tendencies, as well as unpredictable mood swings. Then again, the ladies may just be PMSing, and the guys may just be plain old fidgety since they haven't had any for a while.

Ducks and runs from murderous readers...

Depression can be a great number of things, and the definition of depression is different for each person....

Grins and bows...

So ends today's lecture. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to go drown myself...

2005-11-07T11:19:00.000-08:00

Hello! Accounting hour, yep yep

http://livejournal.com/users/KunoichiYumemi

My second LJ account, yay!

Look outside!!! It's Cold!!!

2005-11-06T20:04:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's cold outside...

Grins... It's a beautiful Sunday night! The night sky, the cool air, the wind whistling through the trees, the smell of whatever is left of dinner, my cat in my lap, my dog whining for attention in the backyard... It's just so beautiful out here...

I just ate, now I'm hungry again. that's just insane. IF i keep this up, some one will have to roll be to school, I'll be so fat...

My mother is insane... She's accussing me of insane things...

There is this one guy at school called Chris who won't stop bugging me... Ok, wait, that's not true. He was once one of my friends, a potential BF, but then, I don't feel comfortable around him anymore. It's official, we may make a good couple, but it won't work. I cannot be near him without feeling uneasy, as if something is way off.

Chris, if you are reading this, I'm very sorry, but it just won't work. WE won't work. Let's just be friends and say hello in fourth and leave it at that. No more walking me home on Mondays, Wednesdays, or Fridays. Leave that to Dana, insane little creature though he may be.

Tomorrow is Monday, and I am NOT a happy little senior...

Live Journal

2005-11-05T21:48:00.000-08:00

My mother is being a bitch again... She threatened to take away my laptop becuase I am on the computer too often. Well excuse me if my teachers like my papers typed instead of handwritten. I certainly cannot help my teacher's preferences where my schoolwork is concerned, and the bitch just goes on and on about my writing "USELESS STORIES"

HELLO!!! I'm not writing stories half the time! I'm typing up reports and labs and papers for my teachers! Incase she hasn't noticed, half of my grade in most of my classes are in written reports, and most of my teachers grade on neatness, in other words, whether the paper was typed or written.

What an idiot...

Anyway, here's a question to be answered...

First, go to my live journal via link above, which is the title, LiveJournal. read my most recent entry, then answer the following question...

in most anime, there are at least one character who is detatched, aloof, and emotionless, and believes that emotions are weak. I personally feel the same way. What do you think? Is emotion a strength or a weakness?

Write as much or as little as you like. I don't really mind much. I just want to know other people's opinions on this topic.

well... See ya!

Accounting test

2005-11-02T11:34:00.000-08:00

tired.

looking at an interesting site, http://www.arborbooks.com

yeah...

working on my site, http://www.geocities.com/kunoichi_umi/White_Mage_Tales.html

I need help... Lots of it. I can't get past the first page. Please, can someone help me?

Woke up late today, six twenty, yet miraculously, I managed to get to school about ten to fiftewen minutes before zero period began.

Food festival up next. Looks like I'll be heading down to the art club's table first. It's only fair that I participate at least marginally.

Class is about to end. I'll post again later.

Firstt of November

2005-11-01T20:15:00.000-08:00

Tired.

My alarm went off around four in the morning. I know I set it for five...

Anyway, my eardrums nearly burst while I was looking for the stupid alarm clock. It was almost half an hour before I was coherent enough to realize that the clock was on my desk. I was so close to a nerrvous breakdown!!! God I'm tired. I guess I'll just go to sleep...

Saturday before Halloween

2005-10-29T15:44:00.000-07:00

I'm tired. Halloween is almost here, and it looks like I'm going to be a witch or a princess... My costumes are so very stupid...

I'm confused about how I feel right now... My heart is beating really fast, and I can't breathe. I know I'm not feeling excited cause I can sit still, and I don't feel disgusted, cuase I'm not sneering at the laptop. I'm pretty confused...

I'll post again later when I can figure out what the hell is going on...

Another thing...

2005-10-25T21:48:00.000-07:00

My laptop is acting up it seems... I can't access my e-mail, and I can't IM my frieds. What's a girl to do?

Anyway, at least I still have access to some websites... I'm really depressed... god only knows that it takes forever in order to get into certain sites, and the school computers block other sites... sigh...

Any way... I'm gonna go. for real this time...

I am really going to snap if something isn't done...

2005-10-25T21:35:00.000-07:00

My mother is a racist bitch. One of my dear friends, Mitsuki, lives on College View ?Rd? ?Drive? According to my mother, that area's mostly populated by hispanics, so she automatically assumed my friend was hispanic. My friend Marrissa is Japanese dammit! I told her that she was wrong, and she had the audacity to yell at me and threaten to not allow me to go out with friends! I didn't do anything wrong! She's the one playing RACIST!!!!

Stupid racist bitch!

I can't believe that I'm related to that-that THING!!!

To make things worse, she's taking a break, so I'll have to deal with that RACIST since she'll be home everyday for the next week.

Seriously... First I have to deal with a delusional boy, now I have to deal with a racist bitch of a mother. Do I have the worst luck or what? If things keep up the way they are, I'm going to snap, and it's not going to be pretty.

I have school tomorrow, so I'm gonna go to bed...

I am at the Limit of My Patience

2005-10-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

Dana Ryan Mills is such a damned ass. He doesn't like it when I call him ugly? Well, too bad, cause not only is he uglier than hell, he insults ME every time he says that I'm genderless.

I'M NOT FUCKING GENDERLESS ASSHOLE!!! I'M A GIRL! AND I AM AT LEAST ACCEPTING OF HOW I LOOK!!!

**Deep breath...**

If he doesn't realize how stupid he is, I'm going to kill him. I swear to the God that I do not believe in that if he tries to pull anything funny, I will rip him to shreds.

I mean, come on! He has a family, and he dares suggest that he was abandoned by his family? I mean, puh-lease! I've met his family, and they are the last people who would abandon a helpless baby. I only tolerate him because we happen to have mutual friends. If Sana and Sanchi were not my dearest friends, I would have left that circle of insane idiots a very long time ago.

And you know what's worse?

I FEEL SORRY FOR HIM!!! I FEEL SORRY FOR THE FUCKING ASS SINCE HE IS SO OBVIOUSLY DELUSIONAL!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I FEEL SORRY FOR HIM!!! THAT IS SO UNBELIEVABLE!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!!!

**Deep Breath...**

OK....... I'm calm.... I'm calm...... My soul is a still lake....

I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I FEEL SORRY FOR AN ASS LIKE DANA RYAN MILLS!

**Deep Breath... Calm down... Deep Breath...**

I tolerated him for as long as I possibly could, but I'm at the end of my tether here! He's so very imbedded in his delusions, he tries to draw other people into his dream world! I honestly have to wonder how I can actually put up with that boy! He's creepy, and he's constantly covered in cat hair! Hell, he smells of cat food! He's convinced I'm some sort of supernatural creature, and a Queen of Elves to boot! Hell, He's watched Crest of the Stars so often, that he's become convinced that he's the emperor of the Ahb Empire!

Dee-lus-ion-nal!

How can he actually believe that he is a character of an anime!

I cannot believe him! He even has the damn audacity to believe that I'm engaged to a bunch of anime characters! He's making me look like a fucking slut! Well, one thing is for sure, if something like this happens again, I'm going to rip into him so badly, that not even God will be able to find all the pieces.

Accounting is killing me!!!

2005-10-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

I'm so very tired.... Accounting is hard now! **SOBS**

My classes are killing me!

I can't take it anymore!!!!

You know, I think the most that I have ever done with this blog, is complain...

Oh, well...

Anyway, I have some work due at the end of the period, so I'll update again later.

Umi out.

Friday

2005-10-21T10:55:00.000-07:00

I'm tired, I'm hungry, and most of all, I'm cranky, nauseaus, dizzy, headachy, and sick. Can anyone beside my friends see a reason why I'm in a bad mood today?

Anyway, it's Friday, so there really isn't much for me to complain about...

Anyway, Senior year, and I have a bunch of things to do. I'm swamped beyond words, and I also have to do the college applications, send in requests for financial aid, and I still have to take my SATs. Looks like I'm stuck with a junior college. Bleargh......

I just want to eat, and then get some sleep...

So tired...

So hungry...

Oh, well... At least this is fourth period. Lunch is right after this...

Anyway... I got an A! I actually did well on my chapter 5 test! Well... I actually needed four to five tries before I managed to get the equation to balance... I just an so happy that we didn't have to analyze the transaction... I didn't catch that at all.... I have no idea how to analyze any transactions... Of course, I might get it if I read the book...

Anyway... I don't seem to do anything but complain lately, do I? I'm pretty damn stupid and childish sometimes, aren't I?

Anyway... I am in the middle of taking notes for my accounting class, so I'll post again later...

Yumemi Out.

DEADLINE!!!

2005-10-17T19:28:00.000-07:00

Deadline is coming for college applications. I haven't taken my SATs yet...

I need Algebra II to get into a CalState, but Algebra II A isn't going to cut it. It's too late to transfer... I have to wait until second semester, and by then, I'm going to be really far behind...

I am so screwed.

BTW rain today. Thunder during sixth period caused a blackout, and the teacher STILL made us work... Talk about unfair...

Anyway, I've got alot of work to do , so I better leave.

Good night!

Yumemi out!

Wednesday...

2005-10-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

So it's wednesday... two more days till the weekend! Anyway.... I think I might have come down with a slight cold...

Anyway... I'm rather tired... but this isn't unusual, especially considering my schedule lately. My Zero was rather interesting today, and I've started on catching up with the rest of the class. Not that I'm lazy or anything, Its simply the fact that I started the class a bit late.

Anyway, I managed to unearth my friend's email, one that had been missing for quite a while. I'm very happy, and I've sent her an email. I'm expecting her to reply anyday now. Anyhow, I'm gonna go now. I still have some classwork to finish...

Tuesday... three more days to go...

2005-10-11T11:19:00.000-07:00

So, fourth period... And it's tuesday! yay!

I can't believe how quickly time flies... Middle of the quarter already...

I could have sworn that School had started only yesterday... Well, I KNOW school didn't start yesterday, but it feels like school only just started...

Anyway... I'm in the middle of accounting, and the teacher is coming around, so I'll post again later.

Fountain Eterna

Floaty, Floaty

An Expansion on an Old Plot Bunny

Concentric Chapter 3: Currents, a doctor who fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Interesting thought

Oops

Ok, Here's a Question, Just One...

Sadness

Just a Thought

Doctor Who Fic: Forever (10.5/Rose/11)

Quoth the Raven, Nevermore Chapter 23: Deep Into That Darkness, a harry potter fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Plot Bunnies vs Time Lords

For once....

Never You Mind...

I will be as sarcastic as I like Dammit!

Well slag....

There is Power in Words....

I'm Still alive!!!!!

and yet another announcement

life as usual... or not

complicated

last post of the year 2007

Works Progress and Melodrama

lif in general

rawr teh rawrer

or 10 reasons why I LOATHE my laptop computer

AND NO! NOONE MAY HAVE IT BECAUSE I AM USING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

er... wtf?

Frivolous Nonscence

prayer

happy birthday to me

yay me

What title?

Yes, kill me now

A good day, a very good day

Just a random post

^_^

Life must go down the crapper

Oh the Fucking Drama

Life in General... XD

Teeheehee XD

oi... what a day...

Er... yea... Good morning...

the things I put up with...

Random stuff in life

...

It has been a very aggravating morning

Mended Hearts

Euphoria: A Graduation Story

Graduation

Graduation in under 4 days

Missing You: A Graduation Story

So not Worth the Drama

Helping out at the office.. *rolls eyes*

The drama in my life in the past few days

When in Keppel, Be a Keppelite...

How Time Flies...

Blah.

Finally got AIM

New Project in Sixth Period

Test for Fourth Period tomorrow...

Rain, Rain, Rain!!!

A Tenipuri FanFic

Just under one minute left

Wow... It's Been a While...

PROJECTS, PROJECTS EVERY WHERE...

Sterfish's Place

day two of the break

It's Monday... ((Dejectedly)) Yay...

Another Dream, and a Terrifying Discovery...

Another strange Dream...

My nightmares just got worse

What is MIR?

A Foreshaadowing of Things to Come or is it Something Else?

22 more days... lalalalala....

Time sure moves quickly, doesn't it?

ES Biome Project...

ES Biome Project

ES Biome Project

College Applications... Scary...

Helping out at the office.. rolls eyes